Bad idea to text an ex this sort of question?

I just want to ask, if he's ever going to talk to me again? Thats it. Not sure if it's a bad idea or not, so let me give some more background info...

He broke up with me for something simple. He's always been insecure about what he can give in a relationship and always questions whether he can make me happy, over the simplest of things such as me getting my feelings hurt over him lying.

Usually rather than just talk about it and move on, he beats himself up and breaks up with me because he thinks he's unlovable and I'm too good for him.

I get that he's insecure because he's a lot older than me and women have been pretty bad to him. It's annoying but I understand it and love him no matter what.

But when he breaks up with me, I don't know what to do. Usually he calls or texts and sends a beautiful letter about how's he's sorry and loves me. Or sometimes I will tell him it's ok to sometimes be hurt and that him and I aren't perfect but breaking up over little things isn't the answer. I tell him he is lovable and everything doesn't have to be such a big deal.

This time I'm uncertain of what to do. He reached out to me, But because we were busy we were texting... Then he just disappeared, hasn't text me since Sunday. I don't want to push him, but I don't want him to think I don't care.

Do you think it would be a bad idea just to text," will you ever talk to me again?"

I want to give him space too if that's what he needs but at the same time I miss him a ton. A coworker of his says he seems normal and from our shared netflix account I see he's just been watching movies all day...
I was going to text him but as soon as I opened my phone, he text me. Were back together, he was going through more than I even knew about. Thank you all for the advice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think...," will you ever talk to me again?" reeks of desperation and really puts him in a position of not taking responsibility for his actions

    I get he's been hurt. I've been hurt in relationships too... very badly, but treating someone who only treats you great the way he treats you is wrong. He bares no responsibility because you don't hold him accountable for actions that are frankly unacceptable.. you love him and that's great but sometimes a bit of tough love is necessary for a person to step up and behave like an adult.

    • I agree but I honestly can't think of anything to say. I don't want to put any type of pressure on him and want to give him time if that's what he really needs. You know? im at a loss for words

    • "I don't want to put any type of pressure on him and want to give him time if that's what he really needs"

      but that's what you've done in the past, and he still behaves rather fickle and not mindful of your feelings or needs. you have to make him commit to something rather than being able to make a decision and change it at any moments notice.

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What Guys Said 3

  • stop with the game playing. if you really want to contact him do so, if not then not. relationships are not games. that leads to nothing but misery.

  • text him sweeter, like i miss you or i hope we can give it another try

  • That's desperate...


What Girls Said 2

  • Why don't you just say "hey how have you been?"

  • Just text him the words How is it going?


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