Thanksgiving love should I not be bothered?

My ex bf and I do not have the title of being together. However, due to the past he felt I hurt him and is afraid I'm going to break his heart again. However, we do not have a normal ex bf and gf relationship we do everything as if we are together but it's less than a bf and gf wld do. I would like to invite him for Thanksgiving to spend time with me and my family but I'm afraid if he doesn't go (due to feeling pressured) I'm going to feel very hurt because I'm going to feel he's not making an effort. Do I have the right to feel that way or should I understand because we are not together i shouldn't be botherrd.. it's just like I said him and I aren't normal ex bf and gf.. I've even told him before if he would want me to go with somebody else and he says I never said that.. so someone please help me see what's the best way to take this. . hurt or accept if he doesn't go


Most Helpful Guy

  • Seeing as you guys are not together it might be uncomfortable or sad for him to go with you and wether he explicitly says that or not you should accept if he doesn't want to. It doesn't mean he won't appreciate the invite though

    • I'm actually really hurting right now because he hasn't msgd me back a yes or no.. and I see what you mean I just see it as if him n I broke up and never spoke and I randomly msgd him to spend Thanksgiving I'd understand if he felt uncomfortable but in our case he kisses me every week text everyday so I just feel like i have the right to see his effort to spend Thanksgiving with me if he knew it meant a lot to me.. i dnt want to be grumpy when I see him again but it's going to be hard to act like all is well. . I don't know if his non response is because he's still thinking or if I shld text him again to ask if he got my message

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    • Sooo he never texted back nor showed up.. good thing tomorrow I see him at work.. so let's see what he tells me this should be interesting. . it's weird though because even my friend said she texted him a Thanksgiving wish n he didn't text her back and that's not him.. so will c tomorrow.. but I'm pissed so he better have a good excuse on the good note yes I was sad but I made the best out of it.. i did better than I thought

    • well try to direct the conversation more to him not responding and communicating that to him not showing up. It would be acceptable for him to not want to come because of feeling uncomfortable possibly but its understandable why you would be upset to hear nothing from him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ignore the bitchy "Anon" down there.
    Relationships are complicated,
    It's not always easy,
    I've been there.
    Me and my bf broke up for like 10 months. Even though we weren't "together" we were still acting like a couple. We've been together 6 years.
    Although we never really got back "together" he says I'm his gf. It's hard to just end it with someone.
    If he doesn't show up, or want to go. Take that as a sign, and start protecting yourself. He might just be slowly letting you go.
    Titles dont mean anything, it's the actions. You guys still act like a couple.

    • Omg thank you so much you really do know where I'm coming from.. and as for you'll wow you were broken up for that long and still together you'll have some chemistry.. as 4 me.. my guy really thinks I cheated which I swear I never did but he feels I cnt be trusted so he broke up with me n it sucks because I've been trying to prove to him I'm here.. he tells me not to pressure him so I stopped asking about us.. and I work with him so he will be lovey dovey kiss me, text me.. people tell us we shld just get with each other already but it's not me it's him.. so that's y i feel i have the right to see his effort to spend time with me on Thanksgiving and the fact he didn't say yes or no when i texted him I'm like is he thinking about it what.. shld I have the right to be mad.. I don't know

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    • Your right on.. he told me 1x at r early breakup "YOU messed up now you have to deal with what I give you " so if asked to hang out it was at his time if any.. he feels because i messed up he decides what's going to hapn.. i have fault in not telling guys I had a bf but when they wld message me "hey beautful" i didn't think I had to right away say I had a bf i wld just text a ":)" but to him I was flirting and liked the attn.. i regret hurting him but not intentionally n i know trust is hard to gain back but I'm really trying i love him so much and the fact he still doesn't fully let me go.. that's y i stay. . he tried a whole yr just to get with me he wasn't my type i traded the 6 ft 5 business major guy for a 5 ft 4 comics guy but my friends said look at the heart n so I did.. he saw me as his trophy gf but I feel he felt insecure at the end of the day I was with him and that's all that shldve mattered.. he treated me like a queen brought me flowers just because took care of

    • Part2: me.. was with me all the time.. when he saw those guys you shldve seen him he cried as if somebody died.. he was so heartbroken..
      *oh n he was with me for a yr so 2 years overall

  • It's your own problem, you brought this on yourself. You're not together so stop acting like you are. Why should you feel bad that your NOT bf doesn't want to be with your family? Doesn't make any sense

    • Because we are not normal ex bf and gf there's more to it

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