Thoughts about my ex and what she became?

Hello all!

I'm new here. Sorry for the lengthy post, but it's not a short story.

So, to cut to the chase, I broke up with my GF for more than a half year now. In the end times of our 4 year relationship she started to act shallow. When I met her, she was a real thinker, a very intelligent person with a healthy set of values. 2 years ago she joined a company to work for, where all the employees are female (5-6 women) from the rather superficial category. One of them has been a major influence to her, this girl is very irritating in personality, childish, talking like a 5 year old and acting as a stupid bitch. (She has a normal boyfriend compared to her though.) So she inluenced my ex to the point to completely change, abandoning her values and starting to enjoy skin-deep things/music, etc she never enjoyed before. After the breakup I didn't contact her, nor did she, though I know all of her ex-BFs talked to her after breakup and wanted to get her back.

Why I'm really mad at my ex is that my mother had cancer and died 3 months after our breakup, and my ex didn't even send a text (she knew it days after it happened from a common friend), What's more, a few weeks later she invited a few of my close friends to a bar to tell them she has a f*ck buddy... (Lasted around 2 weeks.)

I'm really upset about what she became, and I'm sure she doesn't feel that she changed (a lot). About 1,5 months ago we met in a bar, I told her "I don't really think we would have a common topic, do you?". "Well, we would have, probably." - she replied. Then I didn't talk to her and she left soon after. A month ago my friend talked to her and she told him she would speak to me, but she thinks I wouldn't welcome her and she couldn't tell me anything I want to hear, but we are important people for each other (WTF).

So, my questions:
Will she ever realize what she became and return to her true (?) self?
Is it possible that she regretted the breakup?
Why is she so proud?

Anyone out there with some insight? I really want to know what's happening in my ex's head.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi Feuris. I am sorry to hear what happened. Particularly FB part is so messed up especially after your huge loss. It is such a reckless and thoughtless of her. I think once someone changes as our personality evolves by time, it is not easy to be the one you got to know in the first place. Maybe she was always the same but love is blind so you never noticed these cracks.. When you started noticin, it coincided with her working for that company. I dont believe someone with the quality and intelligence you mention can change by being influenced by some character-less people. I think if she managed to get influenced, then it means she never had those qualities you thought she had. I believe in her mind she is not aware of how you feel and what you think. By her saying you would have common things if you talk just means that she believes she is right, you just dont talk because of your own bad ideas about her and you are the one to be blamed due to no friendship after years if relationship. This really only implies she is blaming you. I think you should ponder her words little bit more.. But ofcourse dont go crazy ovethinking.

    • I think you must be right on the part where I imagined her a bit more than she actually is, though while we were together I really enjoyed her company and that she was really clever, we could talk about anything and she was very devoted to me. I really don't believe in friendship after serious love, maybe she does, however she is not keeping touch with any of her ex-BFs. She is very proud and stubborn so I believe she does think she is right and is blaming me (but I don't know why). She wanted to end the relationship due to her not feeling the love anymore. On last weekend I was drunk and she showed up on a Movember-themed series of concerts. Then one of our common friends showed up and I bursted out to this friend what a shallow bitch my ex became not even sending me a text after knowing my mother died, etc. I feel bad about my words, but not about the context of what I said. She won't contact me, and I'm getting a bit crazy, but I don't think it should be me who should initiate it...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow dude that's quite messed up. I think that the fuck buddy thing was some thing to either piss you off or make you yell at her which will definitly statisvy her. You moved on from what it seems, so dont bother. she's an ex for a reason.

    • Most probably an attempt to piss me off, yeah. Though I really don't have the faintest idea how would that benefit her in any way.

    • She wants your attention. You did the right thing to move on lad.

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