How to break up with a live-in girlfriend if you're too broke to afford it?

My girlfriend and I are together since 2 1/2 years and we're living together since 1 1/2 years. I think there are two issues which aren't workable in our relationship : chores and money.

As for the chores, at first I thought she would do around half of them, especially since she was doing at lot of them in her father's house, who is both a neat freak and a workaholic. Nowadays, I'm the one doing at least 80% of the chores, while working too much at a job I hate and searching for a new job (and before I was searching, I was studying full-time instead).

As for the money, today I'm the one footing most of the bill for both our shared expenses and her own expenses. I recently graduated, I have debts and, with this economy, I didn't find a suitable job yet and I'm still working at the same low-paid part-time job I held while I was studying (althought I'm now working full-time). When we moved in together, it was to cost me $300/month ($600 for both of us), instead of the $450 I was paying for my room. Presently, I pay around $500/month and I cannot afford to pay alone both the remaining $100, our other expenses and my debts.

Actually, it would be no problem for me to pay everything alone if we had a frugal and simple livestyle, but she refuse to do that. It would also be no problem if I had a suitable job, althought it would seems unfair. Meanwhile, she is working an average of around 5 hours a weeks and she receives some money from her family from time to time. She doesn't use her free time to search another job, to do the chores, to study more (she's studying full-time and hopefully her family pays her tuition) or to do anything constructive, she just sleeps and watches videos all day.

So, it appears I cannot break up with her until I find a suitable job (or make her feel angry and break up), as I need the little money she brings to be able to pay everything.

Any thoughts? What should I do? Are my expectations unreasonable?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Move in with a friend for the time being

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What Girls Said 3

  • have you tried talking about this problem with her? a lot of couples fight about money n who cleaned the kitchen last lol just talk to her are you really gunna leave a 2 and 1/2 year relationship over somthing that could be fixed by simply telling her how u feel but dont make it sound like ur having a go coz she might get defensive just be like hey look im struggling this month to pay the bills do u think u could get a few extra shifts or somthing to help a little more

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  • I recommend you to talk with her about this problem. If she care to change then you may have a good gf. Because in the future if you marry her or some other girl. You need to share the problem. If she doesn't understand and refused to help you. Then it should be time to think about move out. As even you love her but it seems she can't be good wife anyway.

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  • Find another living arrangement and break your lease. Make sure you give her at least a month's notice so she can arrange something also.

    Going to be awkward but, kind of your only option.

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