My ex boyfriend is bipolar/manic depressive and has left me very confused?

My boyfriend & I of 4 years broke up Tuesday, its Sunday & he has yet to change his FB profile picture of us & relationship status. This is surprising to me bc we've broken up a few times before & he would change it within an hour and add girls. A little background on him, he has a lot of issues bc his mother left him to his stepdad to raise when he was 5. He didn't have that "motherly love" growing up. He's never satisfied with anything & has low self esteem. We amicably broke up in March, he returned to me in June. We moved back in together & things were going great. The Friday before we broke up, we had a fight. He got me a gift & took me to dinner after work that day to say sorry. He told others this month he never wanted to be without me again. Now he swears up & down he didn't want to come back to me in June, he just felt bad. He had been trying to convince himself he was happy but he didn't see a future for us. All news to me since we had been looking at houses. Over a text he says he's not happy, I tried getting some answers & all I got was "I swear to God I don't love you, won't care if you see other people, it was all lies." His father will not let me remove all my things fr his house bc he thinks with some meds that he will start to see clearly. I've reached out a few times with no response from him. I also deleted FB. Our room is just the way I left it, pictures still up, clothes still unfolded at the end of the bed. Everyone keeps telling me they think he will come around, to give it time. It shocked everyone. My ex's godfather is a doctor, he said that bipolar disorder can be hereditary & since his mom is & seeing his behavior they will start him on meds. Its hard to see how someone can go from I love you to I don't love you so quickly with no signs of unhappiness at all, it's extreme. I guess what I'm really asking if that sounds like a sick person or someone who doesn't love me anymore. Should I give up hope?
Also want to share that he said that he had thought about this for a long time. When last month we had an argument and I was just going to stay at my parents for the night. He begged me not to leave. If he had been so unhappy, why not just let me go tben?


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  • Honestly, move on! Even if he is just sick, it sounds like you can't handle it and that you're always going to be second guessing yourself, which is not good for your own well-being. In my opinion, I can't tell you if he's just sick or if there really is any truth behind what he's saying. I don't know him or you, and I can't give any kind of a psychiatric analysis of him. But I believe you should really consider just moving on without him. Be friends with him, yes. Everybody needs a friend. Especially during these hard, new times for him. But I think it would be in your best interest, from what you've told us, to just move on

    • It's hard to move on from it when he's so back & forth. Everytime his life becomes "unsatisfying" he decides it's time to end things with me bc I'm the problem. Then a few weeks or a month or two go by & he's calling me saying he's "sorry, if I could be in his head I'd understand him better" & I do understand it, I encourage & compliment him constantly. I try to talk to him and help him sort out his feelings. But now that he's finally going to seek help & admits he's depressed, I hope that maybe it will open his eyes and give him hope for our relationship which he doesn't have at the moment.

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