Advice on moving on or to keep waiting?

Me and this girl were friends at first and we clicked and started dating after three months of talking and hanging out. We dated for a year and I fell in love really quick. I knew this was the girl I wanted to be with the rest of my life. We would talk about the future all the time and she said she loved me and I had no
Doubts in the relationship and to my knowledge she didn't either. Around September of this year she started being different and for some reason I could tell she was losing feelings by fighting with me and being distant towards me. I tried as hard as I could to keep the relationship and worked my but off trying to make her happy. She ended up breaking up with me and I have been a mess ever since. She told me she doesn't know if she loves me or wants to be with me but still keeps contact once in awhile and I have hung out with her once and we had a great time. She told me she loves me and I did everything right and she couldn't ask for a better bf, but she can't be with me now and says she has feelings for me but doesn't know what she wants. I've been waiting and been unhappy ever since , losing 15 pounds in two weeks after it happened and I pretty much spend my days working , at the gym for 4 hours daily and of course Netflix. I am pretty much asking if she is just playing games and trying to keep me around or should I wait and keep trying like I have. I still love the girl so much and don't know what to do. She seems happy and well, I'm
Miserable. Could anyone give me advice on what to do or if it's just a lost cause. I have never felt feelings like I have towards this girl and I would do anything to get her back , but I'm starting to lose hope and questioning if I should keep waiting. She has told me I shouldn't wait and move on but when I talk to her and see her I can tell she still has feelings but can't understand why she won't be wit me. Any advice would be great. I have tried to talk to other girls but they don't mean anything as much her.
I think I'm going to give her that space. I feel like I have , but if she calls or texts I always answer. Maybe start not answering and honestly for some reason I have hope. Maybe because I'm young and dumb lol , but I'm just going to try to take it day by day. When I say games I am meaning she one day says she wants to go on vacation with me and misses me then not talking to me or getting mad at me while we talk over nothing. I'm just confused. Thanks for talkin to me guys. I need it


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What Girls Said 1

  • Many of today's toms are sporadic, unpredictable and grow cold duck feet whenever cornered or scared and quickly run back into the murky waters from which they came from... this chick is no exception to my golden goose rule when it even comes to Today's girls and what can happen as well When------She has feelings for me but doesn't know what she wants...
    Even though you fell in love with her, sweetie, Fell Hard for her, you wore your heart on your sleeve because you thought she and you would be together forever, maybe even share a nest someday as well.
    However, it suddenly came about one day, just out of the blue, where she became 'Distant towards me' and with this, her feelings became Different and the battle of the bulge started.
    You didn't say if she was a college student or what, but when you mentioned 'September,' right away something clicked in my head where she went back to school, started something then and may have also 'Started' a new way of life, met some new friends, maybe... someone...
    It's obvious no matter what her case, she is not into being with you in a long term relationship as of now. You could wait and wait for her until the cows come home, but bottom line, she doesn't want to be hooked at the hip nor sadly would it make a hill of bean difference if you spent a lifetime moaning and groaning for her, she may never change her mind... she may care about you but not enough to go back to the Way we were.
    You need to do some serious soul searching and begin your own beguine of licking some war wounds and getting your life back in order. You're Miserable, losing wait, wallowing and wasting your days in your heartbreak and flicks and it's not getting you anywhere. After awhile, getting out of bed will be an effort and even binge eating and being lethargic will take over where going to the gym could be too much.
    No, she has told you not to wait but to move on.. she is happy and well...
    Let her go... she has your number...
    Good luck. xx

    • Yes, she is still In school going for her nursing degree and playing a d1 sport. I work at the school and love five minutes away. I guess it just caught me off guard really. It's hard investing so much into someone and farmer about them more than even yourself , and getting left. I don't have social media and I have deleted her number which is good but I'll get the occasional text from her telling me her family was asking about me and how is everything with me. I thought after over a month , her wanting to hang out with me and it going as perfect as could be, she was wanting to work on things. Like I said , she has told me not to wait , then sometimes will
      Say just give me more time to
      Figure things out. I feel like it's games sometimes , and it's really taking a toll on me. I have never felt like this with a girl and part of me thinks I feel like this because I truly do love her, while a part of me feels like she is just good as Saying the right things to
      Keep me around :(

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    • Where were you when I needed advice you just killed 2 birds with one stone bravo, I tip my hat to you paris13, you'll move yeah you have to go home with your tail between your legs butt there's always tomorrow, her out of your life right now will help you heal, I'm inn the same boat as you brother and theirs plenty of us, I gave my heart and soul trying to date this one girl for the last 3 months and when she told me she just wants to be friends it killed me, i was miserable too just like you and I can honestly say I did love this girl to just talking to her and making me feel good about myself, it's tough but if you want you can message me anytime with a question and I'll do my best to answer

    • Thank you, nips927 so much for this... and yes, it hurts when there has been a change of heart, a change of plan but it does happen.. cold duck feet because of commitment or maybe making new friends in life or meeting someone new or just wanting to be free... whatever the case, it doesn't make it hurt any less but it can teach you a lesson in life and in love that it is best to go slow and not wear your heart on your sleeve but even after a long term when you think you have it made, never a guarantee with anything but death and taxes... you both will find someone to love someday more deserving.. plenty of gals out there just waiting for Prince Charmings. xx

What Guys Said 1

  • Move on but not right away or otherwise she'll think you played her keep up with your routine and just avoid her for awhile chances are if she doesn't see you or hear from you she's gonna wonder if she really loves you she'll come back, and if she doesn't come back the time you took will also help let you think if you still wanted to be with her and your feelings will slowly dissipate for her

    • I honestly have tried Moving on. I have talked to other girls. Did things with other girls. But I do love her. I feel like the more I talk to other girls and do all these things to keep me busy , the more I miss her and the more I want to be with her. The hardest thing is her telling me she does have feelings for me , but needs to work on personal things ( herself ). She is a busy girl and does a lot but this whole thing has made me so unhappy. Do you have suggestions on how to " forget " about her and just move on? The hardest time for me is nights of course. I just sit here and dwell on it and never sleep. I still don't understand why she left me and I don't think she truly does either. All of her friends and family loved me and still talk to me and have told her many times she is making a mistake but she just doesn't get it. Part of me feels like how good I did treat her and everythng I did for her , she doesn't deserve me and I should move
      On but I'm having difficulty wth that

    • I'm going through sorta the same thing, the 1st step is delete her number so you sitting up at night staring at it should I call her or not, the next step is snapchat (assuming you have one delete her) and lastly Facebook this is the big one, I wouldn't delete her from FB, just simply unfollow her, she won't know you unfollowed her, she'll only notice that you aren't liking her statuses and become curious, go have a guys weekend you and your buddies go hit up strip clubs bars regular clubs dance with as many women as possible and take a group picture with all your friends and women that you pick up this will get her steaming, because she hasn't heard from you in a couple days/weeks she'll become curious see what you have been up to, she'll start thinking shut he moved on or she'll come crawling back on her and knees

    • O also turn off your Facebook book chat so when ever your on FB is shows that your offline

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