If my ex is still attracted to me, could he possibly fall back in love?

My ex broke up with me a week ago. We have been together, on and off, for over two years. We are both 32 years old. I wish I could say this came as a shock but it didn't. Even though went into panic mode, I know why he did it. He has broken it off in the past too, but we always managed to come back to each other and missed each other. I think THIS time he means it. I have a lot of temper an anger issues to work on, and for that I am meeting with a therapist. I am hypersensitive and lashed out often. I felt like he was putting me down, I felt insecure, like he would leave at any moment, afraid to speak my mind to him, to the point where my emotions drove me so mad that I started to make sex feel like a chore for both of us. I have a fear of abandonment and jealousy, even though I know I'm really attractive. I know this **** affects my relationships. Bottom line is: it was drama and fighting, and I know guys hate that. We talked after he dumped me and I SINCERELY apologized and told him I loved him like crazy, and Im starting therapy. Thing is, he still has all his things in my apt and walks the dog when I'm not home, so I can't do no contact fully. I am terrified that he will move on with another girl, Im still in love with him. I know its selfish. He said he is really attracted to me and loves me but not IN love, (since I'm so touchy, moody, the fighting, etc) Is there any way to bring this back? I AM working on myself but I want to give us another shot. I know he didn't fall out of love overnight... I know several factors took a toll over several weeks or months. I wish I could take it all back.
From a guy’s perspective…If you fall out of love with someone you used to be head over heels for (and he was)…. Is there any chance of reconciliation if you're still sexually attracted? Perhaps after some time apart?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Its possible, but even if you guys get back together before you get your own emotions figured out it will just end in another break up. I was in a similar situation with a girl who had unresolved emotional issues. I tried to stay with her and help her work on it. I knew she didn't want to be that way. But in the end it got to be too much.

    I know its not 100% her fault, it had to do with events in her past and she is actively seeking help by seeing doctors and taking medicine. She says she's sorry for everything and I forget her. I still miss her. But I will not go back to her. I know it will end the same way it always did in the past.

    Change takes times, it won't happen overnight. For now, I would focus on fixing yourself for a while before you try to have a serious relationship with anyone. For both your sake and theirs.

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    • You are right.. I guess its hard for me to face the facts. Its just terrifying right now, to think he doesn't want me the way he did before. Of course, it takes two people to mess something up, but I am fully aware of my part (hence the therapy). I just need to know how to act when i DO see him. He suggested that we go to am event together about a month from now, very casually. I cannot tell if he's trying to soften the blow for me, or if he might still have real feelings. It makes it harder for me to move on when this shit happens. Would you, or any guy, ask a girl to hang out like everything's ok, after dumping her, after knowing she was in love with you?

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    • Thanks. Sound advice. I will force myself to go to the gym... At least it'll make me feel better. This sucks. I've locked myself in my apt, and will only go out to buy wine or walk the dog. If i see any friends, Im afraid ill talk their ear off with my break up story so I feel bad. I guess we all go through it at some point, right? I just wonder if he ever misses me.

    • Who cares if you talk their ear off? Isent that what friends are for? Im sure you would be there for them if they needed it. Yes, we all go through it at one point or another.

  • Sure there's a chance, mainly the turn away factor is the pain or drama.
    Give it time and true patience. Show him you care.

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    • That's sweet. Thank you for replying. I'll do my best to leave him alone give him space, even though I will have to run into him.

    • Hey it's the least I could do :)

      Actions speak louder than words.
      You can say you want things better, but showing him it that is priceless.

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