Can a guy help me understand him please?

My ex and I broke up 6 months ago due to many issues revolving around his addiction to alcohol and possibly drugs. He contacted me a few times by "accident" and wasn't too kind to me- so I figured, okay, he still hates me for leaving him. Last week he called me drunk and crying and said he needed me. I went to go see him and he said he still loved me and thinks about me all the time. We agreed to meet up on a night that he was sober in order to talk things through. That night he told me he still does love me and he asked how I felt about making it work. I told him no, not right now because I was finally feeling healthy and healing from our bad break up. He seemed to agree with me but the next night he called me and said he wants to talk things through again and possibly build a friendship. I was all for it and willing to do the work in order to be in a healthy friendship with him and see where it goes. It went great for a day and then the next night he texts me and starts all this drama without an explanation. Again, we made up via phone- because I reached out and we talked, laughed, he apologized and he also told me I was his best friend and that he loves me. That same night, he brought up the drama from the night prior and then drops off the face of the planet. I texted him being kind and told him I love him and if he wants to try this again, then to let me know. We both said some mean things in the heat of the moment but when we talked it through he seemed sincere about his love for me and he knows I still love him. I haven't heard from him in 3 days. Can anyone tell me more as to what may be going on here? Is it likely I'll hear from him again? I'm so lost and confused!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you really want to be with someone who is clearly inconsistent, unreliable, a drunkard and a drug addict? You need to get out there and meet new people - there will be heaps of guys who will treat you with the respect you deserve, and love you the same back.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just talk to him.

    • Oh dear, if it was only so easy. I've been thinking about calling him a couple days but I don't want to look needy or desperate! Shouldn't he be the one making the amends? I've reached out twice to make amends, the second time being a long text stating that I want to be friends if he is willing and he never responded. I don't know if that's my answer right there... or if I should give him more time.

    • i m in the same situation... i guess giving time is good for both of you... you will find the strength to move on if it won't work...

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What Guys Said 1

  • communication.. plain and simple

    • That's a lot easier said than done. I've been thinking about texting him but the worst scenario is not hearing back at all. I could call I guess... I don't want to look desperate. How come guys think women are desperate when they are just reaching out to a man they love to tell them they care? So confused o_o

    • my ex never communicated

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