How do you stop yourself from thinking his treating you poorly is your fault because you're not "good enough"?

When a significant other withdraws and starts showing less interest and motivation to do anything special with you, how do you not feel defeated for not being the kind of girl that gives her guy butterflies?

Before we broke up due to his cheating, my boyfriend was really lethargic about everything. He stopped being sweet, stopped taking me out or even doing little things like sending me cute puppy pictures, stopped trying. He was grumpy all the time, which made me feel like maybe it was my fault for being annoying or boring. Yet I found out he was so happy and excited about all the new girls in his life and doing these ridiculously romantic and declaration-of-love-esque things for them. It was nearly impossible getting him to even respond to my text messages, yet he was initiating conversations with all these other girls very eagerly. Made me sick finding all the texts he sent them. "I can't wait for dinner with you. I already made reservations." "Btw you looked cute today. i like your style, you pull it off well. though i suppose being good looking also helps ;)" Or just seeing that he'd ignore me asking about his day but text her telling her in such detail what he was up to. And those cute puppy pictures and YouTube links now went to them.

Why were these girls so much more deserving of his devotion? I feel like a huge failure for not being the kind of girl my guy wanted to stay loyal to.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Become the greatest person you can, then you won't feel this insecurity, because it eliminates that possibility as a variable. Because if you aren't a catch, your guy won't think of you as a catch, especially after the honeymoon period ends.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He won't be loyal to them either, some people thrive on the buzz they get from a new relationship, once that wears off they move onto the next one

    How people treat others is a statement about who they are as a human being, its not a statement about you. So stop blaming yourself, and use this experience to realise you can do so much better than the person you almost settled for. Realise your own worth, walk away and be patient to wait for someone you deserve.

    he's not your prince charming if he doesn't treat you like his princess.

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