Have I destroyed my chances?

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I saw him yesterday to pick up some belongings. We had lived together for 2 years and were very much in love. Like ridiculously. He would say he wanted to marry me and we had the same hopes and everything. It was that good.

I asked him one day, he was slightly stressed, if he wanted to marry me - I know it was stupid because he had told me before that he wanted to - and he said he didn't know. I flipped out, packed my bags and left. I avoided contact for about 2 weeks after an initial 2 weeks of trying to win him back. I then went to pick up my stuff. He looked sad, he kept hugging me, I managed to get him to kiss me though he was reluctant at first. Now I'm worried this may have destroyed my chances of winning him back. Is this the case? What should my next step to winning him back be? I've apologised for walking out and everything but he seems pretty set but I know that there isn't any other reason. Help!
All of your opinions are valid but in my defence he kept saying he would marry me in the future and then would take it away again for no good reason. This kept happening so my fuse had been burning for a while.
Oh and I have apologised on a few occasions.


Most Helpful Guy

  • now that is childish. i stopped being amazed last summer, when something happened to me. (love related of course)
    Just apologize (again) for walking out and say you want to be with him. If he does not accept it, then you should accept his decision.
    let me put it this way. You walked out on him for such a ridiculous reason because of a discussion that honestly shouldn't have happened. The man was stressed and you put even more stress on his shoulders. Not good. No wonder he said no.
    Plus, by walking out, you showed, you have a really short fuse. Instability when he was already stressed out. "why the hell should i take her back, just so she can take her stuff and leave when something is not right".


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because two people Break up doesn't mean they can't and don't Make up and that it's Good-bye, my love forever. And with an "EX" that Marks his X in your soft spot still, there is often motive in mind and if given Opportunity When-----He looked sad, he kept hugging me.
    When you were with him that moment in time when he had been 'Slightly stressed,' I believe that That was his 'One Opportunity' to tell you how he felt and that he was in this rut and didn't want to be in a Real relationship anymore and possibly wanted to be free of you both being two birds in this nest.
    You did the right thing in packing ship, sweetie. This would have just went down a beaten path, become a War of the Roses and eventually, you would have Become this anchor that 'He seems pretty set' on setting letting you loose to set sail.
    He let you go when you went back for some things. Although he was Obviously Missing the Kissing, buyer beware here. He may just want a Friends with benefits fling thing and to tell you for now, until he works out the kinks and the possible Links again, this is what he is most 'Set' about.
    Sit him down again when you both have had some time apart and have done some more serious soul searching. If it ends up that you are Not on the same page, tha the really does want to sit it out alone for now, then it's your choice, your call as to either accept his Tough love terms or fly the coup and allow him his call of the wild.
    I feel that no matter What, when you packed up, hook, line and sinker, he could have called you and begged you to come back and be ship mates again. However, he didn't, is most likely sticking to his guns and his reasons for the 'Reluctant kiss' was because he is in control and it's going to be his way or the highway now.
    Perhaps too there were things in your relationship that have been coming on and it led to his "I don't know."
    Good luck. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think so you went to far I dont know the guy but it looks kind of bad right now


What Girls Said 1

  • To me it seems that the only option you have is to have a conversation with him. The worst you can do is ignoring him. Maybe writing a letter/email would also be a possibility. Make it clear (once again) that you are sorry about what you did. Although I have to say I'm rather surprised by your reaction and I'm wondering if there's maybe more behind it? I mean I just find it difficult to understand how you would move out because of something like this if everything else was perfect.


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