3 1/2 year relationship, engaged for 18 months now on a "break"... I'm still willing to fix and work on it though I haven't done much wrong.. help me?

Okay so I've always been the jealous guy but she's always hidden things from my to put fuel to my fire. I've asked her repeatedly to stop deleting messages and all because i'm jealous and talk to me about things so it doens't get 10x worse. After 3 years of this and one bad night where she acted.. off, I started to snoop. I installed spyware on her phone to see what she was deleting and or what was wrong that night and found out another guy kissed her. In the message she did say she pushed him away, but apologized but in the same breathe said to add her on an app so "Anthony, aka me" can't see their conversation. Now, I confronted her at her parents as she's hard to talk to alone, and she was devastated for a day or two, afraid of losing me. She claimed, which I'll try to believe, that she did that and pushed him away but acted fine with it as they worth together and he is higher up than her and didn't want to jeopardize her job, let alone had no idea how to tell me. I give her the benefit of the doubt and moved on. Two days later, it got flipped , complete 180 and she's not sure if we can make this work, she can't trust me, I violated her with the spyware and so on. She's now wiped her phone, locked it and won't text unless its on Kik, so I can't see anything. Now, we are on a "break" and she wants her space. A. we live together and we need each other financially so I go stir crazy when I don't know where she is so late at night, but I'm not calling/texting. B. Found suttle hints she's "interested" if not already seeing another guy during this break and seems to still hide things from me. I still, do all the small things to fix what had bothered her between us (dishes/laundry/vacuum and son) and leave little notes trying to be loving but not pushy... I told her whatever it she's going through I'll forgive her. How do I get through this time? I have no family, no friends as I gave up everything to live here and have no idea how to keep myself occupied, or busy..
and I know I need to make her "miss me" and "worry" and do things to get out so i'm not just sitting here every night when she's out. I've never been a big partier/bar kind of guy.


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What Girls Said 1

  • This "relationship" sounds like a shit show. I would move on. I think it would be best for the both of you if you started anew with other people and (hopefully) learned from your indiscretions.

    I wouldn't even consider getting back together with a guy who installed spyware on my phone, in fact, depending on how much I give a shit about him I may have him arrested.


What Guys Said 1

  • You must be blinded by your jealousy and desperation.

    I don't know about you but this girl has so many red flags written all over her. Do you really think you'll have a good future with that woman? Think realistically


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