Confused after break up?

So my boyfriend and I broke up on November 1st. We were together for almost two years and I have since found out that as of November 14th he has been dating someone else. I am pretty shocked at how soon he jumped into something new but I really feel like it's a rebound. I would really like to get back together with him. I'm not sure how to handle the situation. He does not know that I know about his new relationship as I found out from one of his family members. I'm struggling because he still texts me. He often says thing like he still really loves and misses me. Every time we text he asks several questions about my life and my daughter, who he was very close to. I know he is hurt because a broke up with him, at times he seems pretty angry about it. He says he just needs some time. What is interesting is we still have a joint cell phone plan and joint car insurance. I have tried to get him to separate both of those things but he gets angry and comes up with some accuse as to why he won't.

I guess I'm just confused because if he's really done then why does he still contact me and answer when I contact him? Why is he hiding his new relationship? Why isn't he doing his best to separate his financial life from mine?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry but I get how you feel. But YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM. As someone who is going through a break up as a dumpee I can understand this guys pain, but I don't get yours.

    If you was finished with your ex (this guy) why should you care what he does, who he sees, how he acts? You obviously still care & love him so why break up with him? He still obviously is in love with you. & if your not willing to try things again then just leave him be & let him get through this alone! He's met someone (defo a rebound) just let him be.

    Why break up with him if you feel this way? For someone who's been dumped & my ex giving me mixed signals I can feel his pain & why he's acting the way he is.

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    • Just because I broke up with him doesn't mean I don't care about him. Haven't you ever made a mistake before. I definitely regret it. I'm not giving him mixed signals at all. He know exactly how I feel. I am also not preventing him from moving on. He still contacts me and he won't separate his accounts from me. I do feel like maybe I'm just a plan B for him.

    • Your not a plan B, I've been in this guys shoes he's just scared. You broke his heart once before what's to say you won't repeat this mistake & do it again? The trust he's had in you has been shattered, and if he did get back with you he would constantly be questioning every move you make. The slightest wrong move on your part & it could be over. He may also feel like he doesn't want to put a 100% into it again, you damaged his ego when you ended it. He may not feel good enough for you now.

      If you really want him back then you need to show him that you want him. Yet respect his new relationship, take it from me don't jump into it straight away. Emotions are still going to be tied up in the break up.

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  • I think you are being Plan B. Since he said he need sometime. I would recommend you to move on and take the best for your life. No one deserve to be Plan B.

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    • My ex said this ^^^ to me when he moved on with someone else.
      don't. trust. him.

      And you broke up with him for a reason or reasons... so leave it at that. He prolly still cares for you as a friend... but he's also maybe using you for the insurance n stuff.

  • You broke up roughly a month ago and now you want him back. I assume you didn't break up out of the blue, but actually had at least one reason. Is that reason now gone? Why do you want him back?

    It's unlikely that he started dating someone seriously within two weeks after a two-year relationship. But either way, he will need time. My boyfriend has dumped me as well and then decided he wanted me back, and it has destroyed a lot of my trust. When you know that someone's capable of causing that sort of pain to you once, you want to protect yourself from it happening again.

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