He hurt me a great deal but I still can't seem to stop loving him. Should I move on or should I wait for him to come back?

My ex boy friend lives down the street from me. We dated 7 months and were in love, so much we went on family vacations together and the last two months he wanted me to slowly start moving in with him and his younger sister. I helped take care of her and everything was going good. I was finishing up school and about to get my degree and he started distancing himself from me. Had his friend over every night and wouldn't spend any alone time with me. I was stressed because I had family issues going on and my finals coming up and he wasn't being there for me like I needed him too. Part of me thought it was because he felt insecure that I was starting a career and he hadn't started college and was having money problems. He wasn't working full time and he had told me that he wish he could be the boyfriend I deserved with fancy dates and gifts. I told him that didn't matter as long as he was a good loving man to me. But his distancing became too much and we were arguing about it for a week. He left me a love note in my mail box saying he loves me no matter what, but then he wouldn't celebrate my graduation with me. He chose to go to a concert with his friend instead. I broke up with him that night, and the next night he tried texting me saying the arguing was unhealthy and that we were over. I haven't heard from him since it has been 2.5 months. He has been throwing loud parties and talking to my sister when he see's her, I found out he has been back together with his ex girl friend of two years since we have been broken up. He told me when we were together she is a druggy and he isn't and I'm not. I worried about him and her going into the relationship because they had dated awhile and he seemed to have a soft spot for her. Did he ever love me at all? I feel like we meant nothing now. He always told me not to worry about her. Now here I am still in love with him even though I know he is a huge dick for what he did. Could he apologize and come back?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly he might come back down the road, I don't know when but he will. He sounds like somone who does love you and saw something in you. Maybe he felt he still wants to mingle with other women while he's with you, after all you guys moved in together for a little bit, but honestly he Dosent know what he wants. In my relationship of eleven months. I'm 21 and my ex was 18, now I've been through all the partying and hooking up with beautiful women. She was very special for me to stop all that because I saw something in her that i haven't seen or felt in any other women. I was the best boyfriend she ever had (so she said) but I took care of her, when she's upset or sad Im always there, even after work I would drive out forty minutes to see her and spend time with her. When I worked at the casino I made okay money with a lot of free time, but I knew down the road I would need more money coming in. So I found a better job that paid way more but only had weekends off now. But still I never gave her an excuse for me not to find a way to make things happen. I will always find a way to get things done no matter what. If he couldn't find ways to get things done and always came up with excuses he wasn't really trying in the relationship. My ex tried but didn't give me her all because deep down she still wanted her ex (her first love). If they really honestly truly loved us like they said they did, why don't they fight for the relationship instead of using excuses just to break it off. Now I expect my ex to try and come back sooner or later who knows when but my trust for her is gone. I gave her everything and unconditional love, that's something that she won't get back from me for a long time untill I feel the trust is back, hell that's even if I take her back. We're in the same boat I ask my self the same questions, honestly we know deep down the answer but we try and find excuses to protect us from the truth. But I still miss her since the break uphappened three weeks ago

    • Thank you so much for this. It's nice having someone understand. It's understandable you still miss her it's only been three weeks! We will both be ok and continue to work hard and find the loves of our lives some day. I love this site because everyone is so supportive.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He could, but it's very doubtful. It's hard to get over, but you actually deserve more than what he can give to you... remember previously...

    He was not supportive or spending time with you.
    He was insecure, and probably about more things than he shared.
    He missed an important event in your life, your graduation.
    He's went back to another woman.

    You need time to heal... good luck.


What Girls Said 3

  • I always do this two.. I always think that I was the one that did something wrong or that I was the one that ruined the relationship. its not you its him. You deserve a guy that is going to be there for him just as much as you are there for him. You need to move on and stop reserving a spot for him your heart. don't lose sleep over a guy that's probably in bed with someone else. Start your career and live a wonderful life.

  • The situation sounds too messy with the ex girlfriend and all. It sounds like he did love you, but you really deserve better and if he ever did come back the same problems you had before would just happen again. You deserve to find a better guy for you who supports the great things you're doing. Goodluck!

  • Aaaaah! Wow! This sounds complicated! It's hard to say hun! Iv got a feeling that it could be that he loved you and well he probably still does. But as soon as you moved in after a short period of time, I think it might have made him take you for granted. Iv lived with 2 boyfriends and I noticed a big difference, in the way I was treated, one I had moved in. I got taken for granted, they went out all the time, started cheating on me, they hung out with 'girl friends' and said they were just friends. So I think it's partly him, taking you for granted, since he thought his feet were firmly under the table and then feeling inadequate by you doing well in terms of your career. A lot of Men find it very difficult, when they see their girlfriend or wife progressing in their career. They feel like they can't support you and they think you can do better. Iv been told this to, my ex told me I needed to find someone who could offer me more than he could. He said he wanted to be able to take me out to restaurants etc, but he just wasn't making enough money, so men can be very sensitive with career/money/ progression, if you are a step ahead of them. My ex again, went out a lot etc when we broke up. People deal with things in different ways. So people just use the going out thing as an escapism. I know many people that go out and get drunk as a coping mechanism. People just try and make out, that they are having an amazing time, when a lot of the time, it's just how they chose to deal with their emotions.
    As for the ex, I mean, it maybe the fact that she might not be seen as much of a threat as you, some people like to surround themselves with people that maybe at the same stage/level as them, because it makes them feel less inadequate. If he is saying, that she's a 'druggy', not that I like that term. But that may explain why he has gone back to her. Because he may not feel inadequate next to her. It does sound like, it could be a form of depression. But who knows.

    • I forgot to add, I wouldn't go waiting around for him to come back hun. as horrible as that sounds, but he went back with his ex! if he notices you being very happy and strong, he will soon come running anyway. A lot of People hate to see their ex really happy after a split, they become curious and they normally come running. But don't wait around for him!

    • Thank you. You are so right.

Recommended myTakes