I'm not sure if I should break up with my boyfriendA?

Basically we study the exact same in college so it'll be awkward if we do split up. He's my best friend , we're on our second year on the course but only recently got together. I'm not sure if it was the right thing to be honest. He says he loves me and stuff. I do really like him but sometimes he's too clingy. I want to be with him but also stay myself, as I act different now since being with him.
He does this thing that really annoys me and he knows it does but continues doing it. Shall I just ask him for us to take it slow, but not split up? He's such a lovely guy and a shy one also but I'm not sure if he's the one I'm meant to be with :/ even though he's such an amazing guy!
But then there's me, I get jealous, moody and stuff over nothing but we can't stay mad at each other for longer than 10 minutes.
I don't want to get hurt as bad as I did with the last guy, but my boyfriend has been here for me on many occasions! When I received bad news, all I wanted was to be with him. When I get a message from him, I get butterflies.
He's 21 and I'm 18. I took his virginity also.
I can't split with him because he's amazing! But I just have doubts, it might be due to the ex :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • You must be a science major. You showed that he's not the only one at fault by highlighting your own issues.

    You conclude, correctly, that you should just ask him to slow down a little. You also conclude that you may be projecting feelings because of your Ex. Good. You understand.

    Now, as for the thing that annoys you, is it just the one thing? Regardless, people will ALWAYS find a way to annoy you. The thing that makes you better than others is that you can understand that you are probably doing things that annoy him-but that he ignores, or doesn't place as much emphasis on as you do on his. Sadly, he probably doesn't understand how truly annoyed you are although you DID tell him directly. He thinks it's fun so he continues to do it, possibly.

    He's clingy because you're his first. Sounds like he hasn't been in too many relationships if he lost his virginity at 21. This can be expected. Have him operate independently of you, encourage him. When his friends invite him out make sure he goes, etc. The more independent he is the less he will cling. Clingy-ness may also dissipate over time. Give it another 6 months once the puppy-love stage is over. The stage can vary depending on the person- my Ex girlfriend was in that stage for 2 years.

    What does "being sure if he's the one" truly mean? Fact is, nothing is certain about this life. You are a smart girl and I'm sure you agree with that. He's a good man, you find solace when you're with him, you get jealous over him, he treats you well. What more do you want? What makes a relationship viable is your commitment to each other, not some fanciful notion of what a relationship should be.

    • Thank you!!

    • I've read other suggestions by the women. Crystalchick tells you to ignore him: Don't do that! That's a game that men don't like to play.

    • I can't ignore him as he's with me every day in college, we all stick together as a group so it'll be impossible to ignore him. Also I wouldn't want to ignore him either :/
      I think we should just stay how we are as there isn't anything wrong with the way we are. I think I was panicking because I don't want to get hurt again but I know he won't hurt me as he's a sweetheart 🙈 thank you x

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe create some space for awhile.
    Tell him in a nice way how you feel.
    Interestingly, he may feel the same way as you do.
    That way the door is still left open a bit for you two to get back together by mutual consent.

    • But then we study the same so we'll see each other all the time :/

    • So what!
      Yeah it's a little awkward, but so what.

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What Girls Said 1

  • In my option i would talk to him and tell him that you like to be alone sometimes. if that doesn't work ignore him maybe he will understand that you don't like when he does certain things. When he realizes that your mad he will talk to you and he will understand..

    • But then we study the same so we'll see each other everyday in college. It'll be hard :/

    • Just act like he isn't their too.. hell understand

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