Does anyone have any experience in this?

So here's the thing. I don't love my wife anymore. I don't know if I ever truly did. I don't want to be with her anymore. Too easy right? Well it isn't. We have three kids together, and I still care about her. She's trying so hard to get past all the crap that we argue and fight about and causes tension between us, but I'm not anymore, and she's noticed. In short, I've given up. I don't want this to work, because I know that in a couple months, another year, whatever, it's going to be the same song and dance all over again. I'm being an asshole, she I know that I am, but I can't stop being one. She's trying so hard to ignore the rude comments and bad attitude, but I just don't care. I'm depressed and feel trapped, and I want out, but I don't want to hurt her anymore. How do I break this to her gently?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You loved her once, enough to marry her. Think about you children and if you're gonna miss her and them, and being in a united family, if you leave. If it's hell and you truly want out, sit her down and let her know how you feel instead of brushing things off and not caring because you don't want to regret your decision whether its leaving or staying. Everything is great and fun when u meet somebody, when you settle down things are slow and not as exciting. Thats how it works. Really dig deep and find out if this woman and family unity is worth leaving. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 4

  • "I love you with all my heart, but you and I are no good for each other. Our kids deserve better, and so do we." Promise to always be there for your kids... and mean it.

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  • Tell her exactly what you wrote here. There's no gentle way to put divorce but you just gotta do it. In the long run it'll be better for the kids. Growing up in a hostile environment isn't healthy. I know I'd rather my parents divorce and have two separate happy homes than one tense broken one. Sometimes relationships don't work out and that sucks but it happens.

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  • Just leave her and kids live peacefully. You shouldn't have children with someone you don't love; you both are ruining your kids' lives. You either love each other, or separate. That simple.

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  • Tell her what you said here. Ask for a separation. Take some time to decide for sure. Divorce if you feel like it's irreparable.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would say that Im in almost exactly the same situation so I know how you feel.

    Its easy for people to say to just tell her how you feel, but when there are children and other responsibilities involved its never simple.

    Try not to give her a hard time, life must be difficult enough so just be amicable. don't be misleading either. your behaviour should reflect your feelings so no unnecessary affection. be like a friend and definitely no sex.

    good luck for the future

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  • That's tough dude so sorry to hear first off. I think a separation is the last resort... can you honestly say you've given this relationship your best effort?

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    • Yeah I have. For the last four years all I've been doing is working on it. All I've been doing is trying to improve myself and this relationship. We just don't work together. We're both dominant, and that clashes. She belittles me all the time, and I usually have some snappy comeback. I'm tired of trying. Counseling didn't help, and neither has anything else.

  • Find something to bring the spark she try hard but u didn't move or take a step to fix ur mariage and u give up

    I dont recommend to leave her
    Do something to bring the spark

    And ur kids how they will grow without father?

    U have the right to leave but there's but ur reason still not enough and u didn't do something to fix ur mariage

    And I think there's no gentle way to do it

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    • Like I said before, I tried for four years. Only when I mentioned divorce and actually started leaving did she step up. And now it's petering off. My love for her is almost completely gone.

    • So tell her directly I think it's better
      say I can't continue anymore I dont know what happened to me it's not u it's me and I deside to go away but always will be there for u and our kids

      But before u say that if u take them out for few last time to leave good memory that will help also
      dinner or some places ur family like

      And then go

      But still dont recommend but all n all up to u

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