Boyfriend cheated on me, wants a second chance?

We were long distance and I found out last night that in May he cheated on me while drunk, and then again he did it several times with one girl from his school (he says they didn't go past 3rd base).

He started begging me, said he's an alcoholic, he's embarassed, and he really wants to fix it and have me give him another chance. he swore to change his ways and get into a better place, stop partying, let me see his phone any time, he says he will do anything to be with me.

What do I do? At the time he cheated, we were fighting like crazy. I was kind of a bitch and acted crazy, overcontrolling, etc, because I had a feeling something was going on-- but Im not making excuses for him. I love him, we've been together almost 2 years now, and I'm torn. Is there ANY way a cheating relationship can EVER recover? How? WHat exactly does he have to do to rekindle it?

I'm not his GF anymore, but I'm deciding if I should be his friend and help him through this point in his life to get him back on his feet. But once he does, I don't know if there ANY small possibility we can be together. Any real advice would help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion once a person cheats regardless if it was sober or drunk (a cheap excuse really) the circle of trust is broken and that circle isn't once that's fixed with sorries and promises. It's always easier to apologize after the fact than to do the right thing in the first place. in my opinion you should completely ax him from your life, this is an unhealthy relationship already, even as friends you would only end up falling for his games in my opinion its best to move on be single for a while heal, find yourself, and maybe find a local guy that will be in a trustworthy mature relationship with you. sometimes its better to let things end and move on to a fresh start. I really hope the best for you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope. He doesn't deserve a second chance. Not as a boyfriend and not as a friend. Alcohol is NEVER an excuse for cheating. It's simply impossible to justify cheating by saying shit like "oh I was drunk so it doesn't count". Uh, yeah it does.
    He's only embarrassed because he got caught, and not because he actually cheated. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to trust your partner without constantly having to go through their phone and their chat messages.
    He's basically not worth it. If he respected you as a person and respected the relationship you had, he wouldn't have cheated. Ever.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I've been a church grief counselor on s volunteer basis for several years. And I have seen it all. Cocaine overdoses, alcoholics, and cheaters of all ages.

    I have yet to see one case where it was recoverable. Not saying it's impossible; I've just never seen it.

    I don't think that most relationships today are actually built on the foundation of love today anyway as is in the actual fabric of nature. It's more about a mixture of hormones and nebulous feelings of fondness. But none of these constitute "love".

    I saw a woman who had done missionary work in Kenya get back to the states with her husband after 10 long years of missionary work and then completely flip OUT when she was 36. She walked away from her husband, her church and her three girls to shack up with two guys who took turns banging her day in and day out. After about 6 months they got tired of her and moved. Then she wanted to " come back". However, by that time, the missionary had already remarried without her knowledge.

    What I'm saying is that sometimes there is no going back... because the river of life just doesn't work that way.

    I've seen it all.

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  • Just do yourself a favor and go back and red like the last, 5-10 questions you asked about this guy, and you should be able to see that very clearly you should NEVER talk to him again. He has been and always will be hurtful to you and just a major downer in your life, and you should of ditched him a longgg time ago

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  • ehm.. you know what seems right for you. we are no help in this case, I can only advise you that he might loose respect if you forgive the things you find bad, kinda like little kids, if you don't show em that they can't do shit they will keep doing it.

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  • Leave him and cut him out of your life. You'll be better off in the long run and when you're recovered you can find someone better.

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  • Been in your situation yourself. Don't give him the light of day. No excuse for cheating.

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What Girls Said 2

  • OMG what a guy did you got girl... an alcoholic, lier, and a cheater YOU SHOULD REALLY READ ALL YOUR QUESTIONS and ask yourself if that's what you deserve a guy who fights with you, cheats and lies about everything he's doing, ? or a nice guy who will respect you, love you and honored you? That's up to you but I for sure choose the second one,,,, if you don't respect and love YOURSELF why should you expect someone else respects you?

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  • Don't do it. I've been there, got back together... and just immediately got cheated on again... then found out he was cheating pretty much the entire time we were together. He used the same bs excuses.

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