We were long distance and I found out last night that in May he cheated on me while drunk, and then again he did it several times with one girl from his school (he says they didn't go past 3rd base).
He started begging me, said he's an alcoholic, he's embarassed, and he really wants to fix it and have me give him another chance. he swore to change his ways and get into a better place, stop partying, let me see his phone any time, he says he will do anything to be with me.
What do I do? At the time he cheated, we were fighting like crazy. I was kind of a bitch and acted crazy, overcontrolling, etc, because I had a feeling something was going on-- but Im not making excuses for him. I love him, we've been together almost 2 years now, and I'm torn. Is there ANY way a cheating relationship can EVER recover? How? WHat exactly does he have to do to rekindle it?
I'm not his GF anymore, but I'm deciding if I should be his friend and help him through this point in his life to get him back on his feet. But once he does, I don't know if there ANY small possibility we can be together. Any real advice would help.
Most Helpful Guy
I've been a church grief counselor on s volunteer basis for several years. And I have seen it all. Cocaine overdoses, alcoholics, and cheaters of all ages.
I have yet to see one case where it was recoverable. Not saying it's impossible; I've just never seen it.
I don't think that most relationships today are actually built on the foundation of love today anyway as is in the actual fabric of nature. It's more about a mixture of hormones and nebulous feelings of fondness. But none of these constitute "love".
I saw a woman who had done missionary work in Kenya get back to the states with her husband after 10 long years of missionary work and then completely flip OUT when she was 36. She walked away from her husband, her church and her three girls to shack up with two guys who took turns banging her day in and day out. After about 6 months they got tired of her and moved. Then she wanted to " come back". However, by that time, the missionary had already remarried without her knowledge.
What I'm saying is that sometimes there is no going back... because the river of life just doesn't work that way.
I've seen it all.0