I feel like I'm destroying my own relationship, help?

My boyfriend is a lovely guy and I couldn't fault him in any way. Very recently a family member passed away, she was really close to me and I feel like my depression has worsened because of this. I'm just not myself anymore and I always feel like I've got to put on a mask when I'm around him and try be happy and smiley and want to do things but behind it is the opposite, he told me only a couple of months ago that I don't seem bothered about him and he feels like I'm disinterested in him. He's very open about his feelings and is constantly telling me how much he cares but it makes me feel guilty and it's slightly smothering like he's afraid I'll leave.

My parents and friends really approve of him and say to me how lucky I am to have found someone so lovely and who cares so much. I agree with them but at the same time I think maybe it's all just the wrong time...

Can any of you advise me? :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • if you aren't truly into it, then perhaps you need to take a break. Tell him you need to get your mind straight and just aren't ready for anything more right now. It is going to hurt him and probably you, but i think you need the time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Be honest and open and tell your boyfriend how you feel. There's nothing wrong explaining you feel smothered or guilty or still depressed due to the death. If he truly cares for you he'll understand and respect your words. Don't worry about hurting his feelings when you're hurting yourself. Trust me, I bet he would be hurt more knowing you've been wearing a mask to try to keep him happy. And if you do need a break, don't let other people guilt you into keeping him. But from the tone of the text I think you're more depressed than wanting to just end things completely. I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you're able to find your happiness again. :)


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