My girlfriend left me a while ago and I feel so lost? What do I do?

Gf and I were together for over 5 years, both of us were fine, never any big issues between us or things we couldn't overcome. We had so much in common, learned so much over the years and trusted each other completely. I believed we were soulmates and I would do anything for her.

A few months following our 5 yr anniversary she is stressed with life and decides she wants to just be single and on her own, doesn't give me a specific reason why. Its just "what she feels like she needs to do." Of course this hurt me, and I was upset, but I let her go and tried to understand. We still talked and I felt like she had begun distancing herself from me. I learn she was seeing another guy, and after confronting her she said she didn't leave me for him and that she still wants to be single. She said she was seeing him tho and making out/etc. because she felt like there was no negativity as there was with me? Which is because we broke up... but wtf sense does that make? If she didn't leave me, then there wouldn't be any negativity?

Then she tells me that after the mourning period fades that me and her could go back to doing things we used to, just w/o being committed right now? I'm so confused.

It sounds like she was honestly just not ready for commitment, which i would have understood if she just told me to begin with. She says she still loves me very much and that i am more important to her than anyone, yet she pushed me away and consoled in another guy? I don't know why, but i still love her so damn much... and i really want to be the one for her because i care so much, and really felt so good wit her, like no other before.

I'm not saying if something comes my way i won't try it, but do you think she is just finding her way? Will she realize my true worth after a while, and see how much i truly cared about her? I will probably just disappear a few months and see how I feel afterwards, but hell... its hurts so much and I love her. Im just so confused of it all.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like I am experiencing a similar situation except I am living your ex's side of it.
    My ex and I had been dating for 2 years. I loved him very much, still do love him, but find him too immature for commitment to continue. Plus I have found a new guy (much like your ex has) that I find very comforting, comparable, nice.
    However, I haven't forgotten about my ex. I believe him and I can become friends again one day, and if we are in the position to (he is more mature, still likes me) we could get back together.
    My advice, as a girl from the other side of it, is to move on. There may come a day when she realizes your worth. It may take her a lot of time. But don't wait for her. Find some new people and hobbies to distract yourself or make a new part of yourself with. If the time and situation roles around where she comes back to you and you are ok with that, so be it. It might not happen. But if it doesn't, you have taken time to move on, it won't matter, because you would have already made a new life for yourself without her. Best of luck to you... Sometimes us girls have reasons for what we do. I can't justify her side of this, especially because I don't know her and her situation, but my hopes are that she will realize your love was true. Message me if you need to talk! I feel very lost too.

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    • Thanks, yeah thats sort of how I feel about it all, is that I can't control it, so why bother trying to? If its meant to be, then i guess she will come around and our paths will cross... this guy she hooked up with is the complete opposite of me, he's a cliche "bad boy" and is very irresponsible and has had a very messed up life. I love her so much... and I think im just gonna let it be, let her be free and do w/e she wants and start to focus on myself and try to move on. of course i hope she comes back right now, and ill always care, but... dwelling on it isn't helping at all. People are just weird.

    • Sounds like she needs time to figure out what she wants, mess around, and make mistakes before she settles down... a lot of people need this before being entirely committed. I mean, I'm in college, I see this on a daily basis with friends. From the sounds of it you were the one for her. But sometimes people don't realize that, and its best to move on and let them make their mistakes. Its a shame because it sounds like you guys were very happy. But yes, dwelling will do you no good. Let her find herself, and in the meantime, find yourself as well. I believe everything happens for a reason. She was brought into your life to teach you a lot, to make you grow. Now its time to take away those things and apply them to new experiences. And as I said, you never know if your paths cross again. Good luck <3

    • Thank you. yea just gotta stay positive. I really did see a future with her, and she at one point wanted that too. but like you said, people just have to learn from their experiences/mistakes. whatever happens, happens.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think she's lying to u but she dont want to hurt ur feeling bcoz u were togther for 5 years

    Now she find new guy after u end ur call or texting with her the other guy is on the line maybe
    and she will continue with that guy

    Now if u really want to see whats in her hart give her ultimatum and 1day to think yes only 1day after that if she refuse to back to u as ur gf I think it's ur time to move on

    If u will keep think about ur feeling without move nothing will change

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  • Well, panic a little longer. After you're done you'll get tired and just do something else.

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