Ex girlfriend is confusing me to no end, opinions PLEASE?

So my ex dumped me about 5 months ago and entered right into another relationship which she started lining up prior to the split.
So about a month ago she started texting, calling, etc. last week she wanted to meet to talk so I agreed. She spent the entire day texting and calling me right up till the end of the night. We met and talked. Long story short is I told her that I will not share her with anyone, which is the same thing I told her when I went no contact shortly after I found out she was in another relationship. I wished them the best and walked away.
So she tells me the other day that she was going to tell her new guy that she was going to start seeing me again and end things with him.
I told her that if that's what she was going to do it had to be for her and not for me. Again in the interest of keeping this shorter, the next days following that I barely heard from her AND I found out she was still with her new guy.
SOO, I tried calling her once then sent her a message similar to the last time. I told her that this wouldn't work for me, wished them the best and told her if things change she knows how to find me.
She responded to nothing, including the Merry Christmas message I sent yesterday. (She sent it on Thanksgiving and since our breakup was amicable I figured I would reciprocate for Xmas)
So my question here is does anyone have an opinion on what's going on here?
I'm in a strange place right now. I no longer feel this overwhelming need to have her back but I am open to the idea if the conditions are right. At the same time though I'm not going to play games. Can anyone help me figure this out a little bit? Thank you


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What Girls Said 1

  • Just because two people Break Up doesn't mean they can't and don't Make up and it's Good-bye, my love forever. And with an "EX" that still Marks an X in your soft spot with her own X, there is Usually Motive in mind as to what could be on Her mind and Why out of the clear blue you are saying Now------I'm not going to play games.
    You hit the nail right on the head, Confused1111... she is playing head and heart games with you and trying to create not only a Monkey in the Middle Mind boggling matter here, dear, but what I call a Triangle Threesome as well, where you are way at the tip, looking down, from side to side, at the both of them.
    When she began her beguine with even cheating on you with this schmo from Idaho, which lead to your break up, she thought it was going to be greener on the other side of the fence. It was new, exciting and she thought that everything she had with you, was Not what she found in this guy and it suited her to a gulf tee. However, as time passed by, she began Missing the Kissing and what ever else she shared with you and in essence... she wanted her sweet cake and eat it too.
    When she learned from you that That wasn't going to happen and that it was smelling bad in Denmark with you with this, she backed out, decided it was Better for her to stay put and didn't have the guts nor the heart to leave This Joe behind and take up with you again because she knew you would have a cow over it so now she has had a change of heart and is sticking to her own poopy pad pasture bull.
    Forget her, sweetie. She is starting up this problem child pattern and it is only going to follow down a beaten path of War of the Roses.
    Game time is over. You answers, you have your final closure to this chapter that should have Ended when you broke up months ago. She can't be trusted and no matter what Good Time Charley she latches on to, you will always be stuck in her deceit... don't ever end up her side dish.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you so much for your answer and the tenderness with which you delivered it.
      In my head I know it would never work again because I would never be able to trust her, I'd always be "wondering"... The thing I'm working on is getting my heart to shut up and listen to my brain! ... Hearing it from others is definitely a big help. More and more as time passes I come to accept that I need to just move on. It's that little glimmer of "well what if" that still holds me back some. Hearing it from outsiders looking in helps to reassure I'm not throwing anything real away.. Thankyou again.

    • You are so welcome... take it from a smart cookie here, dear, the Only thing you would be throwing away anything real with is Another Year of strife in your life and grief with a Player... Move on before 2015.. life is too short and you deserve better than what you would be getting with a problem child and her pattern. xx

What Guys Said 1

  • well it's Christmas and people usually remember stuff and get a bit emotional. most likely things are not going great with the new guy either. So she thought to suddenly get back in touch and see if you are still in love with her.
    She came and saw that you are somewhat still thinking of her and this put her at ease. As a result, she suddenly feels better and does not need to respond to your messages.

    My opinion: Don't look back at all. Stop lying to yourself when you say that you don't want her back. The simple fact that you actually agreed to talk to her, says one thing: you think about her.

    Move on. She dumped you for some other guy. you told her that you are not willing to share her, which is a very rational thing to do. She went on, split up and fucks that other dude. Be serious.
    Every time there's going to be something that troubles her: car not starting, her period, dog vomitted on carpet, no cereals, boss is giving her a hard time, she will be calling you in the middle of the night. Otherwise you will not hear from her.
    I've seen this happen with others. They leave someone, then come back to complain and expect for the dumped person to listen and be there for support like they have nothing better to do with their lives. Fuck them. Save your time.

    • I DEFINITELY think about her. And I'm not too proud to admit that I do so every day and several times. I just luckily have gotten past the point that it consumes me and I feel the NEED to have her back or my life will end lol. I feel like it would be more of a choice now but yes I'm still either hung up on her, or my EGO is hung up on the fact that I think she cheated before we split.
      Either way I know I just need to keep moving away from her but yet there is still a part of me that wants her.
      Hopefully more time will change that too. I feel like I'm being strung along here occasionally when it suits her.

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