Is it wrong at 6 months to expect a guy to be open about his feelings with you?

We're supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He never tells me how he feels about me. The only time he ever did was when I was ready to leave him the last time. It's as if he's emotionally stunted. He's not super affectionate. Nothing. It almost feels like a good friend. Every other guy I've been with wanted me to be his and made it abundantly clear. This guy seems indifferent but when I bring it up he gets insulted. Is it wrong to want a man who is affectionate and open about his feelings? Especially at 6 months?
  • Yes it's wrong to expect that from him.
    Vote A
  • No it's not wrong. I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume he is young like you. By the time he is 27 though, he should have his act together for intimacy.

    That said, either 1) he's immature and doesn't know how to handle intimacy OR 2) he's gotten burned badly once and may be a little reticent to be more verbally committal even though, inside, he may be committed AND/OR 3) he's just not that into you, but doesn't feel any desire to change anything and doesn't want it change; he's in a place of comfort and any deviation from that can be scary.

    Facing fears and uncomfortable situations is part of life though and this guy should step up. Or, to put it in men's terms, he should "Man up" or "Strap on a pair".

    Maybe this will help: Get him tipsy with alcohol and then question him. With alcohol, inhibitions are lowered and he'll open up and then you can gently be more questioning of him. Likely, you will find out what you want to know but, be prepared, you may not like what you find out. Still, at least you'd then know instead of worrying like you are now.

    • He says he's just not that kind of person. I'm conflicted as to whether I should stay or go because I don't want to be in a relationship where I never feel cared for. I think it's a combination of immaturity and heartbreak.

    • Yes, then break up with him, but be clear about why. A man needs to clearly understand why he is being dumped otherwise it is like torture to us. Furthermore, he won't improve without understanding what he did wrong. If he's "just not that kind of person", that would have been fine in the 1950s, but not now. He needs to recognize that a large part of being a man in a relationship is to be a major part of the support system for his woman. He won't admit this and maybe he's too young to realize it, but we need women to be the anchors of our support system; when we feel that you are not there and we cannot be vulnerable to you, we will drift. Well, we (men) need to be that for women too. He needs to understand this basic reciprocity. If he doesn't or can't be bothered, then you should hit the eject button on this relationship ASAP; it's best for you so you don't waste time in torment and it's best for him to help him grow up.

    • I agree. He more or less said I should be more heartless. We're taking a break from each other however I'm done with the relationship. What you say is right. And it's unfair to me because I give my all in a relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not really wrong nor right. Different people have different comfort levels and progressions when it comes to feelings and expressing them. If you don't match up and can't live with it, you can't. It doesn't make either or you more right.


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