How do I get my ex to want to come back?

We broke up about a month ago because he thought that I was being controlling, but recently we were talking a little bit. We texted like every night, and last week he started saying things like "I miss you a lot," and ".. every time I see you or think about you it reminds me of how much I still want you." Things were going so well the last few weeks, and then last Friday I think I might've pissed him off by hugging this guy he's told me before he doesn't like me talking to. So, he was all curled up in one the booths in the cafeteria with one of my friends, and I'm pretty sure he knew I'd see. When I confronted him about it that night, he never mentioned the guy I hugged, but all of a sudden he was like "we need to move on."
Last time we broke up it took him several weeks to come back again, and we kind of went through this same process of where he misses me but he says he can't let himself have me, and we need to move on. What should I do? I know that some people are going to say to just move on, but I'd really like to make him want me back. I really care about him and I know he cares about me too, but he always tells me he can't let himself come back. What should I do to get him back?
I have started the No Contact rule; it's been about a week now. Does this really make them miss you if done correctly? And about how long does it usually take for them to reach the peak of missing you?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly It makes me cringe, when a guy knows his ex wants him back and they want them back too, but are afraid to go back, or just playing games. Who cares if he saw you hug another guy, you guys are not together, If he still hasn't initiated that he wants you back then who cares. I just got out of an 11 month relationship and my ex left for her ex, but if she wanted me back then I would work on it, even though I have the final say. But we can't control if they will come back or not, and NC is mainly for healing. Of course both parties will miss each-other, but real love will always find its way no matter what. Just take the pain right now and move on and see what will happen over time. Thats what I am doing and thats all I can do.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Stay strong girlie, sounds like he's playing. Sometime you need to be rough. Let's be clear, you need to seriously talk to him, a mature talk. Tell him how you feel, solve your doubts, ask whatyou need to ask and if he explicitly says he won't do something to get you back/doesn't want to go back with you then please understand and move on. It's the best. You cannot lose your dignity or let youself be dragged by this games that mess with your head and make you waste your time. Sounds like he has toxic attitudes towards you and you should allow this from anyone. Good luck. Use this time to know yourself better and heal, because after all where there's will, there's a way. NO EXCUSES in life, NO EXCUSES in love. You may do your best, but a bridge is held from both sides. Good luck


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What Girls Said 1

  • You can't and you shouldn't.


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