How to break up with someone? (Should I do it?) ?

I've been in a serious relationship for mora than 4 years and I just don't feel the same, I feel no passion when I kiss him, I don't desire to have sex with him, I notice we have very little to talk about, we have almost no shared interests, never go out, yet I know he really loves me, he's sweet and kind, he cares about me... But that's not enough for a relationship, at least not for me.
There's someone else I'm interested in, and I tried to suggest an open relationship, so that we could both meet new people and not to lose the other one, but he refused and got angry, I just told him not to get worried.
I honestly don't know how to manage this.

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  • Well, you're wrong if you think an open relationship is the right answer. If you believe in Monogamy then there is no reason to even consider an open relationship. Your boyfriend obviously believes in Monogamy which is why he got upset. If what you want is Polygamy then find another guy that is into that and live happily ever after. Note: Polygamy doesn't necessarily mean one man with multiple wives; it's similar to Polyamory.

    As for your current feelings on passion: Sorry, but what you've described happens to MOST people. Statistics reveal that the highest percentage of divorces in relationships occurs at the 4 year mark. Surprise surprise! You've been dating for how long? Yes, you're not married but the timeline is about the same; assuming most people wait between 1-2 years before getting married, you're right on target.

    So what does that mean to you? It means you need to realize that this problem will occur with whoever you are with. It has nothing to do with chemistry. It has nothing to do with shared interests. It has nothing to do with carnal desire. Being with someone (marriage or lifelong partner) was a pact, a bond between two people. It was practical. Sometimes that bond strengthens, sometimes it weakens. Relationships also develop differently the longer you are with a person. You may not have those same feelings you had at the beginning but you may now have something different, not better or worse, just different.

    It's not a wise thing to just throw something away because you have a wayward idea of what a relationship is SUPPOSED to be. Don't go chasing a dream. You could be chasing for the rest of your life. Mark my words, if you drop this guy you'll only find yourself in the same situation years from now with someone else you THOUGHT would be different.

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    • It's just that I don't know how to be excited and happy around him anymore...

    • You're trying too hard. You're over thinking it. You don't know how to be happy? WTF is that supposed to mean? Being in a relationship with a person means that you appreciate that person for who he/she is. They are people that are an important part of your life that you can't leave behind.

      I have a feeling that you are just resentful because you're not getting what you want.

  • You text them it's over! You're so much better than this! \o/

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