I do not know what to do please help?

my boyfriend has been under a lot of stress with school and work. Recently he did not do so well and decided that we needed to take a break. He said he still loves me, but needs time. he still wants to hang out and talk, but i just do not know what that means. I really want him back and he says to other people that we are in a rough spot right now is there hope

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in the exact same situation with my ex girlfriend just recently. She dumped me and gave the exact same reasons and said she felt the same way your guy does. Problem was that I let my ego get the best of me so I kept pushing things and demanding answers. I pushed her away by talking about it too much when I shouldve just kept the conversations and hangouts light and fun. I would say that as hard as it is, do not contact him first at all until he sorts it all out and react positively when he contacts you, which he will. dont make the mistake i did of feeling like a freindly shoulder to cry on. the truth is life gets messed up and overwhelming for people and if you truly love a person in that position then you will be understanding. dont ask him if he's seeing anyone else or try and make him jealous. with some time of things being low key and upbeat he will come around. sure if he brings up serious topics then you can express your feelings in a healthy constructive way but make sure not to accuse him of anything. if only i had taken this advice i was given a week ago then id be spending new years with her but there's still hope for you darling. be strong, be happy and dont second guess the plan no matter what.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Guys base A LOT of their self worth on how well they 'succeed' in the eyes of the social standards. If he is getting bad grades, or having trouble at work, it erodes his self esteem, and he feels like he might be failing, and if he really likes/loves you, he doesn't want you to see that side of him, especially when he doesn't know what to do to fix it.
    It's like when girls/women see the 'super models' that are so 'super perfect', or they think that they are, and that is what we want. How do you feel when you gained a few pounds over the holidays, or your pants are a little tight, or so on, and so on? That's how he feels! He feels the same as you do, when you think you are 'fat' or 'bloated' or 'unlovable'.
    Guys express it by pushing away, and being alone, trying to find a solution, to 'FIX' it. That's what we do. Forcing him to talk, or try to force some kind of intimacy is going to make it worse!! He needs to feel like a 'MAN' and 'FIX IT' before he can feel comfortable with you.
    Unfortunately, all you can do is trust that he can figure it out, and tell him that you care, and know he needs some space, and you will be there, for him, if he needs you, and you are looking forward to when he can feel better.
    If he really cares for you, he will figure out his SHT, and get it right, so he can be a 'MAN' and be what he thinks you need from him: the solid, strong guy.
    We don't think like you, and maybe it is hard to understand, but this is pretty 'universal' for most 'Western-type' guys.

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  • Honestly, he probably just needs some room right now, he seems to care about you, however a relationship is time consuming, so he probably wants to wait for things to settle down before you guys pick up. I would honestly talk to him because of the rough spot he mentioned, there might be an issue there that is bothering him.

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  • i think, he is right take a break if he doing well at his point, then again go head.

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