What to do when your girlfriend says she's not ready for a reationship or any serious reationship?

So I'm 19 and my ex girlfriend is 18 we met at work and from there we on a date and she made the first move on me and everything went so great even thow the movie wasn't the movie we wanted to watch ☺️ But besides that we been dating for 2 months and 6 days and just yesterday she told me threw text that she's not ready to be in a reationship or any serious reationship with anyone. I understood I didn't curse her out or tell her stuff that isn't necessary I basically said its fine but did I do anything bad for this to happen she responded no it's not me it's her because I really liked her we got along really well when we were working and going out we laugh and talk but since the month went by I guess she stoped having interest cause idky. but she's a mom she has a 2 yr old daughter that I got to meet and she introduced me to her family and her dad and she told me she never introduced any of her Exs Besides her baby daddy since she has a kid now But I was hondered to meet her family since they told her that I seem like a real nice guy and for her not to mess things up with me cause all the guys she's dated before were assholes and mistreated her but they all party like she does she parties and smokes and drinks with her sister and friends. Which I didn't like but we sat down and talked and i accepted but I just encouraged her to go to school and look for help and find a better job for her and her daughter she said she felt that I was controlling her life which I wasn't I was just stating that she needs to get her stuff togther if she really needs a guy to motivate her. But the reason why I post this question is because she left before with the same reason saying that she' wants to enjoy her youth and party and do what she wants when she wants that was fine to me I didn't want make her feel like I was controlling her I just wanted to help. So now that she left again I want to know if she'll ever come back or maybe In the future we'll end up dating again? Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well there's sadly no talking around a girl with those feelings. I've been through a similar situation (minus the kid) and what I can tell you from learning from my mistakes is that if you were mature and acceptant of her decision then youve already done yourself a world of good hat most guys fail to do, so now you need to not contact her at all for whatever reason and let her be the one to come to you until she's ready again. Sometimes girls use the being young and what not thing as an excuse but given her circumstances it sounds like she's just overwhelmed with her life and scared. Let her come to you and keep to the conversations light and fun and dont bring up anything about the break up or your relationship until she does, nothing pushes a girl away faster than trying to think for her and force conversations she isn't ready for. You have all the cards in your favor with the family and friends liking you and saying those things. just be cool and patient until she comes around, maybe she just needs to go out with some asshole so that it gives her a wake up call to what a great guy you are, she's going to miss you. just dont be clingy and give it time and space. and dont shut her down when she comes to you, which she will. also dont try and make her jealous, her brain will become curious of what you're doing without you manipulating it. if you do this i dont see why things wouldn't fall back into place. do your own thing until then, dont stop moving forward while you wait for her. talk to other girls in the meantime

    • Thanks great advice man

    • I know I wasn't supposed to text her or anything but since yesterday was New Years I just simply send her a quick text saying happy New Years to you and your daughter and family and she never even texted me back Does she really not want to be with me and have nothing to do with me?

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think you need to let her go. it sounds like either
    1) she isn't really into you
    2) she is truly not ready to date

    ... I'd lean towards #2. it sounds like she likes to party, drink, smoke, and have her fun. that on top of a baby sound like a person who isn't really ready to settle down yet. she (her brain) probably sees you as a person she "should" be with but her heart is not really into it as much as her brain may tell her to. I'd really let her go because you shouldn't have to constantly deal with her fickle behavior. it's not fair to you

    • Quick question do you think she'll think about it and eventually trying to come back when she serious

    • maybe. maybe not. but I wouldn't wait or hold out hope. cause it kind of means you are in a stand still. you'll need to move on with your life. if she comes back to you and you're single then I'd make a decision but waiting for her with you life on essentially a pause is probably not the best decision

  • All you can do is be the best the person you can be, be honest and honourable. Treat those the way you want to be treated and most times things work out. As for this girl, I would not hold my breath. She isn't interested in you. She gave it a go and nothing clicked with her, no spark. Like she said, she is not ready for a relationship and just wants to party and fuck around with other guys. She will likely come crawling back to you once she has had two more kids with two different looser dads and no chance of a future. Not something I would wait around for. Lots of nice women out there looking for a great guy. I say move on.

  • Go camping and write your novel.


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