I wanted the relationship to be over but I still hurt, why?

I was in a relationship and I really loved the guy. He was my first and I really wanted to marry him. Anyways, his lifestyle and everything, I can tell this was not the man for me. I knew he wasn't the person I would be able to introduce to my parents.
Anyway, in the relationship he did a lot of hurtful things toward me but I always gave him chances because a part of me hoped he would change. In the back of my mind I wanted him to be good enough to bring home to my family even though I kinda knew he wouldn't. I was always stressing and crying over him and after giving a bunch of chances I finally took him back once again. I knew it was a dumb move but afterwards I prayed and hoped for something else to happen so that it could my final ticket to just leave and move on.
Well, of course, he cheated again and that was my get away excuse. We've been broken up for 2 weeks and neither of us have reached out. I do still care and love him but because being apart is what I wanted, why do I still think of him? Why am I still hurting?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're hurting because you loved and cared about him. Relationships are filled with ups and downs. It sounds like you tried to give him multiple chances to make things better but they didn't work out. It can be hard to control who you fall in love with, that's just the way that it goes though. He cheated on you, there's no going back to that, he is not the kind of man that you want in your life. He does not deserve you. Maybe he'll learn his lesson in the future, but that's unlikely. My Mom always tells me this, "Do not think you can fix anyone, the only person that can fix them is them." Don't look back. Take some time to appreciate the good and the bad, because you have to have both. Realize that he came into your life to teach you things that will help you in the future, now use what you have learned and be patient, you will find someone better for you.

    Now is the time for you to take some time for YOU and do things that you love, spend time with people that love and care about you. Engage in activities that make you happy, hang out with friends, enjoy life!

    Take some time... and when you're ready, when you don't hurt as badly anymore, then things will fall into place. You can do it. Be strong, you've got this, you are one step closer.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Because you put your heart in him. Time will fix things.


What Girls Said 1

  • You were wounded over it. You'll heal though. Give it time :[ , it's only been two weeks...


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