How soon can you be friends with an ex?

Hello men, I am posting this question on here because I want a man's POV about friendships with an ex. Background: My ex (30M) and I (30F) broke up about 5 months ago. We lived together and had a very close relationship. We had a lot of fun, our sex life was still good, and really felt like we were going to make it. We had problems we couldn't solve as a couple which led to our demise. Nothing too big just lack of communication. We broke up amicably and mutually but it was still pretty hard I am still not completely over him. He reached out about 3 weeks ago and told me he wanted to hang-out as friends. We've hung out a couple of times and he hasn't tried anything but when we're together gives me his full attention and I can still feel a spark-that may only be on my part though. He did tell me we had very good memories together so he wants us to be a part of each others lives. My questions is, in your opinion, what are the odds that he actually just wants to be friends? Is this something men want so soon out of a relationship?
Thank you!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am sorry I am going to have to agree with acleverusername. I am not friends with any of my ex's. Most guys once they have been sexual with a friend can't go back partially out of a slight misguided thoughts around the next partner. We think a new woman wouldn't like it. Also if you have a female friend then it needs to be none sexual. You might be lucky and be able to go back but I think it's very unlikely. Yes he misses you but it's more likely that he wants a full reconciliation of your relationship. Good luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can never be friends with an ex. A guy can never be just friends if he finds you attractive. I agree that he might be missing what you had, or he could be lonely/wanting an ego boost, or just want sex or to restart relationship

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    • how would I know if it's an "ego boost"?

    • I think you'll know based on whether he is that type of guy and if he is interested in other women but has not managed to get anywhere with them yet then knowing you still want him might be why he still wants to see you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm married and I'm friends with 0 of my exes and I'm pretty sure almost anyone in a committed relationship would say the same. You guys may be friends now but once you start dating that will change. In my opinion of course. Hope that helps!

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    • My questions was that if, in your opinion, he is seeking an actual friendship? if we broke up only 5 months ago?

    • I don't feel like he's truly seeking friendship so much as missing what he had

What Girls Said 2

  • When neither is still holding a grudge or blaming the other, and only if you both have moved on. If either of you still has feelings, or wants something romantic, it won't work. It's not common for exs to be friends, and it usually takes several months, minimum.

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  • Don't think about it too much. There are no true measurements for feelings. It will happen when it happens, if it happens.

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