I cheated on my boyfriend, what now?

I didn't really know what else to title it, I started talking to this guy, and he knew I had issues with my ex after a 2 year of physical and mental abuse and how I needed to get through them to be at a healthy mindset again, he knew that. He said he wanted to be on board to help me and focus on us and get over these problems, then sadly.. I went back to my ex and slept with him 3 times, all of which 3 times I went to specifically tell him he had to leave me alone because I met someone knew (He was harassing me and causing my partner to have anxiety), He sweet talked me and basically turned me over and did his duty, I am scared of this man, and I didn't feel like I was entitled to say no, I thought he would hit me or find out who my partner was and say something to make him leave me.. The last time I slept with him I told him to get off of me and that I had met someone new, I told my partner this. He is still damaged by the situation 3 months later, how distant I was before we started dating, but he knew I was completely ready yet.. He broke up with me a day after new years saying he couldn't do it anymore, he had a wave of overwhelming thoughts and he can't get my ex out of his head and he needs time to himself to evaluate his thoughts and how he feels... What do I do?

Updates:
He also had really bad anxiety whenever my ex texted me, and thought I would go back to him. And all I was doing was answering him and telling him to leave me alone, my partner wanted me to tell my ex who he was and maybe then he'd leave me alone. Even though my ex already knew, He just wouldn't cut me some slack and stop harassing me.. This has all affected my partner for the worse and I don't know what to do to fix it, I am so petrified of losing him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You break up with him. He didn't cheat on you, so he is a better person than you, and deserves better than a cheater.

    There are no excuses. You were a bad person. He doesn't deserve to date a bad person.

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    • I am far from a bad person, It was a huge mistake and I told him right after it happened, he forgave me and we worked on it and everything was fine up until now. It's funny because if a guy cheats on a girl sometimes it's okay to take him back because he's a male, but if a girl cheats on a guy she's automatically horrible and a whore.

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    • It's not fine.

      You cheated. You are a bad person.

    • Rectification: three huge mistakes.

      Back. To back... To back.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 10

  • If you are in the age group indicated by your avatar, you are an adult. You should be smart enough to know how to say "no" and you should be smart enough to realize if you are failing and to stop doing the same thing. Your ex physically and emotionally abused you so you realized you had to get away. You found someone new, but you went back to your ex to "tell him he had to leave me alone", but once you got there you listened to his sweet talk and gave him your pussy again. Three times. If you are scare of him yo do not go back to talk with him. You tell him by phone it is over and you are not having anything more to do with him. Then you don't talk to him anymore. And you don't even look at his tests to you. But you keep talking to him and responding to his texts. No wonder your new guy has given up. You have been treating him like shit.

    The new guy is better off without you, because you keep going back and sleeping with the old one. Let the new guy go to find a gal who will not cheat on him and keep truning back to an abuser.

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  • Leave him alone you don't just accidentally sleep with your ex 3 times while trying to tell him to leave you alone why couldn't you call him those 3 times? The new guy is better off without you and if you genuinely care for him let him get on with his life.

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  • For one stop responding to your ex. Block him, change your number, unfolllow him for everything, and whatever else you got to completely lose connection with him. Second, If you still wanna be with your partner, keep telling him how sorry you are and how much you really wanna start over. And try to look into couples therapy bc there are some issues going on. I think he'll give you one more chance, If you show him that he's the only guy for you.

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  • my ex cheated on me... im going to respectfully tell you that you need to break up with the guy you cheated on, then get them both out of your life, you need to take control of your life and understand that when a person gives there heart to you it should mean more to you, you can't go around breaking hearts, it makes people bitter and it leaves a lot of baggage for the next person you meet. learn that love is worth cherishing.
    hope this helps,
    take care.

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  • I hate to be the one to tell you this but you already lost him. You lost him when you cheated 3 times. Honestly, if I was him I would move on from you. Not saying you're a terrible scum of a person but in my opinion it wouldn't be worth it to me to stay with a person who cheated on my 3 times. Somehow I have a feeling you two will be back together and that saddens me.

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  • Well I'd leave you as well, you sound like a complete nightmare that can't ever be trusted to be honest.

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  • You cheated on a guy because another guy sweet talked you.. are you absolutely sure that he was going to hit you.

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    • He has before.

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    • Sweet talked me meaning when I tried to explaining to him that I met someone new, he grabbed my arm and said "you know that's not true" I felt submitted to him for 2 years It is more complicated than I'm making it sound.. It was extremely abusive.

    • I am not excusing myself from the situation, but I don't want my partner to see it as I did it intentionally to fuck someone else behind his back.

  • your ex sounds like an asshole and you went back to him. I would suggest moving on and not going back to him.

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    • My ex is completely out of my life, phone computer everything. But my partner is still haunted by the thought of him.

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    • Yes. I am concerned because he has a lot of problems with anxiety, and I feel like it's clouded his mind.

    • I'd say give him time

  • Now you break up with him for his sake and become a celibate nun.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You were stupid to go to your ex. You clearly don't love your boyfriend much. What now? You move on from BOTH guys. Let him find someone who's actually girlfriend material aka. loyal.

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