Did he lie to me about everything?

4 days ago my long distance boyfriend told me that he "Doesn't think we can work" and that he "doesn't know if he wants me" he said that he still loves me but after that he just stopped responding.. he knew I didn't want to break up but he did anyway.. he still reads m messages and has not blocked me or anything, but, all before that, he put up with my "issues" and always seemed egar to get "sexy photos" from me.. I had NEVER did anything like that beofre I met him.. I told him how bad it made me feel but he always re-assured me thag he loved me, that he wanted me for way more than my body and that nobody else woul see them. He always called himself a "shy" guy that he "got along better with girls" than other guys and that his' female friends were not a threat to me.. but right now since I feel all these awful things.. and that I feel like he is ignoring me, he said he was having problems right now and that "New Years isn't a good time for him" he never really tells me what actually going on.. I feel like I was used and lied to the entire time! :'(

Was I just a complete idiot go believe him? He was my very first ever boyfriend, I was his' second as far as I knew, he only had 1 girlfriend beofre me and he talked like it want good with her. He told me he'd only had sex with her.. I never lived close enough to him to have done anything with him, we only exchanged photos and "cyberd". But really.. I just feel like a fool! :(
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I'm sorry I misspelled some things.. I was and still am upset when I typed this.

We did have some "normal" conversations but I just am afraid that he only wanted me for nude photos and that was it.. there is more but I just don't ever feel like typing it. He seemed like he meant it when he said he loved me, he recorded a video of himself telling me! What did he really mean?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is just my opinion, but while there can be strong feelings associated with an internet relationship, I don't really think it can ever be considered a trusted exclusive bf/gf relationship when you've never met or are always apart. There's just so much that can happen in the background. You can totally misrepresent yourself and get away with it. My initial instinct is to assume he was in it for the nudy pics and the cyber sex but without knowing the whole context of your online relationship, there's no way to tell.

    Now, let's assume he is an honest, trustworthy person. I wouldn't say he lied about everything, he might have had good intentions in the beginning, but if he's never met you, there's no physical intimacy, eventually you have to ask yourself what's the point of wanting this type of relationship? I don't know how long your relationship went on, but yeah, the holidays brings out that feeling of loneliness in a lot of single people. So, while he might feel a connection with you emotionally based on what you talked about, if chances are it's going to be a long time before you too ever meet and have a physical relationship, he may just be at the point where he'd rather have someone there, then someone online. Eventually, everyone needs to unplug and go out in the real world. It's one thing to be together initially and try to make it work when one had to move away because of work/school but it's another thing to try to truly cultivate an exclusive online relationship when living in different cities.

    In your shoes, I'd say move away from considering yourselves bf/gf. Try to move on and find someone close by. If you truly care for this guy, there's nothing preventing you from staying in contact, or continue to have cyber sex if that's your thing and maybe one day you two will meet and can develop a physical relationship, but until then, you should both be free to explore other options.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know if he lied to you about everything, or if he lied to you about some things, or if he didn't lie at all. It sounds like you never actually met up with him, but send sexy photos to him. In my opinion, you shouldn't have done that. Also, and I don't mean to be harsh, I wouldn't call it a relationship or him a boyfriend if you never actually met.

    I think the best you can do now is stop messaging him. Even if he starts responding to you again, how is this supposed to have a future if you can't meet up? You are tying yourself to a man who is unavailable, perhaps only due to the distance and possibly also due to other reasons. You should find someone local who wants more than just sexy pics.

    Don't be too focused whether he lied to you or didn't. I know it can do your head in, but it's really not good for you to keep thinking about whether the things he said were true.


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What Guys Said 2

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm sorry that he has made you feel this way, long distance relationships are hard but some do work so don't be disheartened by them. Sometimes and not saying you but in a distance relationship it can be more a fantasy in the end by things said or text to keep the pics and the sexting coming - perhaps a little ego trip! I'm in a distance relationship he is divorced and I'm a widow so we are a little older, we talk, text, Skype or email everyday numerous times so they do work. If he is saying he's having problems right now, I hope not but sorry he may be feeling a little guilty about something. The best thing and as hard as it will be you need to block any contact with him, as tempting as it is to send a message don't, he can't have the best of both worlds. If he can't keep track of you on Facebook or whatever your way of contact you are in control, if he wants you he will have to well and truly prove it and come and see you. If he sends you a message be strong and give it at least 24 hrs before you reply, let him stew on what he has lost!!! We have all been broken hearted and it's tough, imagine how much he will be stewing, make him think that you have moved on. Smile keep yourself busy you never know who you might meet!!

  • You dedicated yourself to an Internet player!
    Block him and move forward to a real guy who will want you in front of him

  • Many guys will play you

  • Sometimes a guy will tell you anything to keep you on his side and woo you. I'm sure he cared for you a lot and had fun at first but long distance relationships are hard. I think he was wanting something else, and its hard to accept because he's your first bf. But a real relationship is based on more than just pictures and cybering and casual conversations.

  • Break up and leave it in the past. We all act foolish sometimes, don't beat yourself up. What's done is done but now that you've learned your lesson, be less foolish in 2015?

    • So he was a liar then? :(

    • Show All
    • To get what he wants. In your case, the pics.

    • 'm 23, from... but currently living in... for College.. just looking for fun, to talk, anything that will take my mind of how bored i am xD

      About me, well, had a colorful life, its mainly been black but some good times thrown in
      Hobbies... Video games is a big one, reading, animes & mangas, walks, drawing, talking, helping... Mmmm there's more but cba writing it xD
      feel free to pm or comment and will get back to you asap
      by the way, i am brutally honest, I dont lie xD ask me anything and i will answer honestly.

      That was his' profile.. I removed the locations to protect privacy.. does he EVEN sound believable?

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