Its been almost two weeks since the text message breakup and it really isn't getting any easier to handle. I thought time would help but it seems as if it is getting worse as time goes on. I was talking to a friend today filling her in on everything with M and she said “you are driving yourself crazy and all I hear is your concern about his feelings and his PTSD. What about how you feel? Take PTSD out of the equation – he was a jerk doing this to you.”
I am two weeks in to this dreaded breakup and I am at the point where I really really want to email M. Yet I am torn as I have read so many post’s on this site that say to leave the Sufferer alone as contact may further upset him. Well, just like my friend said, why is it all about him? What about what makes me feel better? After all he is the one that dumped me via text and ripped my f*&ing heart out. And all I really want to do is send him an email letting know I love him and that my door is always open if he wants to talk. WTF is so wrong with that?
It is very difficult dealing with this breakup vs. all my past breakups as I have in my mind that M did this because of his PTSD. And he did. In his right state of mind he would have never broken up with me, let alone via text. So knowing he did this in a state of PTSD depression and withdraw I am left wondering if I should contact him or not and if I should move on or not. Moving on sounds awful to me as I really love this man and of course I am hopeful he will come back around when he is in a better place. But am I being foolish thinking this? This SUCKS!!! I feel I am in a state of limbo as half the time my rational mind says “move on. heal” and my heart says “Are you kidding me? This is M!!! He is worth the wait and how could you “move on” when he is mentally ill and all he needs is someone he can rely on and trust”. Uuughh!! I am tearing myself apart over this whole thing. I wish I could just make a decision! Write him/don’t write him. Move on/wait.
Most Helpful Girl
The effect of the love drug is still lingering for you... Maybe writing out your thoughts on paper would help feel less attached to him?1