Why will a guy not want to be friends after a breakup?

Most of the guys I've had relationships with don't want to be friends after the breakup.

Why is that? I see nothing wrong with it. One of my guy friends told me that if a guy really likes you and things don't workout he can never see you just as a friend. So is that true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't blame the guys you were with, I never wanted to be friends with my past girlfriends because it's weird and it just hurts, especially if the relationship was a good one. Being friends with your ex kinda feels like a consolation prize for a failed romantic relationship.

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    • I never thought of it like it.
      What if the guy is the dumper yet he still refuses to be friends?

    • Probably for the same reason, just that awkward vibe between the two people. Unless both of them can handle a friendship without any drama.

    • You're so right.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • A lot of things can play into it. If you had sex in your relationship, then to have to suddenly not be having sex, yet still be around each other would be weird, hard. If one party did not want the breakup, the hurt will be inflamed being around each other.

    If you had just been dating with no sex, then an amicable breakup should not cause a loos of friendship in mature adults., but yet it often does.

    I see no problem with remaining friends with someone after a breakup if it was a mutually agreed breakup that was friendly. I liked her before and wanted to be close, and she hasn't changed, so I would enjoy staying friends.

    I think the biggest problem is hurt. That one is hurting, though maybe not admitting it.

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  • Yeah that's pretty much right. It would hurt a guy much more to still see you but not be able to hug you or anything. Especially if you eventually start going out with someone else and he just sort of has to keep quiet as he tries to see you as a friend while he hurts from missing you. The only reason a guy would stay friends is if he didn't feel as strongly about you any more or if he thought there was a chance you'd get back together after hanging out normally for a bit.

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  • In short, yes. It is true a friendship will not work because the guy will have that history and the smallest hope of getting back together if the relationship was good. But this is only a generalization. I know guys who have been friends with a chick after a break up that wasn't real serious. I doubt this helps.

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  • In a way, yes. It's difficult to hide feelings from someone you still might care a lot about. Depends how serious of a relationship it was. Also who initiated the break up or maybe it was both a mutual decision. It's usually best to just move on and go separate ways. No matter how difficult it might be.

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  • lol if i was in love with her and she breaks up with me it would be like turning a dagger that has just been stabbed into my heart around slowly again and again... i prefer cutting her off at least untill i got over her (if that is even ever possible)

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  • It's totally possible to be friends after a breakup, anyone who says otherwise just isn't emotionally developed.

    I think the underlying reason why a guy won't want to be friends afterward is that it just often times is more work than a guy wants to deal with, both in terms of time and energy. We'd rather not get sidetracked by all the emotion and instead just start talking to new women. Past is the past, move forward quickly. That sort of thing.

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  • It's impossible for me to go from being an intimate couple to just be friends, I just won't be able to make that transition and I find when a relationship ends I need to cut her out of my life completely in order to move on.

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  • And what for? I mean it's unlikely we're going to have a sexy time with you ever again, so what's the point in reminding us of a lost territory?

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  • Unless the relationship ended on good terms, then I don't think it's a good idea. And how many relationships end on good terms? Probably 1 in a 100, so chances are it's not a good idea.

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  • its just unnecessary reminder of what you can't have. id prefer a clean sever of the relationship

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  • Maybe it's because the guy finds it too confronting or painfull to change relationship levels in such a short matter of time. (or they're just jerks)

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  • I have never stayed friends with an ex. All the memories of us together as a couple would just be too difficult for me to deal with, and then seeing her meet other men would tear my heart to pieces. A clean break is best

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  • Maybe because they have feelings and you f.. with another person.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It's not a really good idea. I tried being friends with my first ex and it wasn't a good success so I just cut off everything. It just felt weird and it really solves nothing. It's difficult it really is. I personally do not recommend it. It hurts too and it's weird it doesn't feel right. It's best to just cut them out of your life for good.

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  • I don't think you can be friends with ex either. When you end up a relationship, it's just simple to stop it all. It's weird to have that person around, mostly for future relationship.

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  • I also won't want to be friends, this make it easier to get over the pain and also faster to move to next chapter.
    if the reason to break up isn't amicable say it is cheating, then it is really impossible to be just friends.
    there are guys who would still be friends, at least my guy friend would but reason for break up is important

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  • Yaaaa. Like obviously yaaa. Merely seeing you pains them. How can they move on right?

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