How do I stop my boyfriend from breaking up with me for school?

My boyfriend recently told one of our close friends that he thinks he should break up with me to focus on school, but he doesn't want to. Unfortunately, for him school always comes first, so it doesn't really matter what he *wants* to do, but what he *does* end up doing.

I want to avoid the breakup altogether. I love him a looot, and I don't see how a breakup could improve either of our situations. I'm going to make sure he knows I'm not high maintenance; all I really want is a text every once and a while and for him to spend a minute or two with me at school every few days. We can spend lunch together once every one or two weeks to replace the time we'd normally spend on dates.

I really, really don't want to lose him due to the pressures of a semester. He's already told me he wants to focus on school, sans the breakup information, and I made sure he knows I supported him. Is there anything else I can do? Is there anything else I should say? I figure a text and a couple minutes of talking a week and 30 minutes every 2 weeks isn't that much to ask for, but should I reduce what I want? I just want to be happy, and he makes me happy, and so I want to make him happy. What can I do to make this work?

Updates:
I don't want him to give up his career for me at all. If it came down to it and he told me that he really needed this, I would let it happen. But I don't want a "temporary break-up" like my friends say would happen. I'd rather stay committed and distant than completely lose him, even for a short period of time. If we break up while we're still in love with each other, do you honestly think he'd think about me any less? I know a break up would destroy *my* focus even more.
Thank you guys for trying. And for the ones who didn't, I don't care. He broke up with me last night for school, just like I was warned he would. He didn't ask me to wait for him. I guess I just have to work on picking up the pieces now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, relationships are time consuming, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to him to succeed at both school and being a good boyfriend. I'm sorry to say, but there are most likely other reasons that he would want to break up with you aside from a large amount of school work. Unless he thinks that it would be REALLY REALLY unfair to you, if he really really wanted to be in a relationship with you, he should be able to manage his time in a way that works for school and you. Sacrifices must be made sometimes, but it's not impossible. School is also very important to me, and there were many times in my relationship where I would have to plan out my studying so that I could make time for my boyfriend on the weekend.

    The best thing you can do is just explain to him what you would like. If you are both willing to, your relationship should be able to adjust to different schedules and other factors. I don't think that you should put a number on how many texts or minutes you talk, nor should you have to be satisfied with such little involvement from him if you want more. What I mean by this is, don't stay in a relationship that has such little emotional and physical fulfillment that it's not a relationship at all.

    Also, how long have you been dating? I think what you stated above is the best thing to do in your situation. Whatever it comes down to, a relationship requires the involvement of both parties. Both have to give an about equal effort and commitment or it can't work. If he can't give that to you, then it may be best for both of you to move on.

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    • Thank you for the MHO! I hope everything worked out okay for you.

    • Well, we did end up breaking up for this exact reason, but apparently he really, really regrets it. I'm just waiting to see if he sucks it up and takes me back or not :/ thanks, though, you really did have the best answer :)

    • Ahh I'm sorry to hear that. If he does, I hope that he can give you the attention, time, and respect that you deserve. Don't compromise yourself for anyone! Good luck.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yea people can have hard majors and still hold relationships without it effecting their study habits. I feel like maybe he wants to break it off for a different reason

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  • It's not really fair of you to do so. He has priorities if you truly cared and loved him then you'd wait.

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  • Don't think you can do that without being manipulative.

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  • Sometimes its not just the time he spends with you but like its stated "FOCUS" his attention and his mind would be on you so it may not matter that you would be willing to spend less time with him. With out you there on his mind to distract him is good for him and his future, and I'm sorry but it would be very selfish of you to try and make him stay with you instead of focusing on his future.

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What Girls Said 2

  • wait what? hwy want him to sacrifice his career for you? its not mature at all and is kinda selfish

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  • You can't stop someone from breaking up with you. If he has to focus on school then he has to focus on school. That's really unfair of you, if you cared about his education then you'd wait.

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