What would make you want to go back with an ex?

Let's say the relationship was all good except he didn't give you a commitment and you left. If he improved himself and became fantastic, would this change your opinion on him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What good is improving yourself if you won't commit? He should stop trying to get her come back, because that isn't fair to her.

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    • It's the perception of not committing, not that he won't, make sense? She wants marriage now, he wants it in a year or two.

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    • Did you tell her how you feel about wanting those things with her, just not now? I don't think you can get her to come back and I'm just so sorry about that :/ She just doesn't seem willing to budge from what you've said.

    • She's done, she's move on and with a guy who has 2 kids. Yes I talked about the future with her and wanting it, but I don't think I did it enough to solidify it in her mind... after she was "done" I showed her some plans, things I wrote down, a big trip I planned... she cried and asked why I didn't do this months ago, why now, why at the end..

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Nothing would make me go back to an ex if they changed for the better then maybe yes. But once I cut off all contact I am done. I have an ex at my school who has been trying to connect with me and been trying to talk to me like we're friends. I'm like we are no where near friends. Plus my ex cheated on me in the past and was afraid to commit, he didn't know what a relationship was and he is a player.

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    • Even if you cut off all contact and they change for the better... You're done?

    • I'm not getting back with mine at all I'm trying to finish high school and focus on my studies. No I would never get back with mine I did that one time and it was a trap after that I was done. No friends no nothing just strangers.

    • I did it before and knot hurt after that I was done

  • It's happening now actually. He cheated and had a kid when we were younger. That kid is SEVEN now, and he's been calling and texting wanting to "reconnect". Pffft. No thanks. He can reconnect with my nuts tho.

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  • once I'm done, I'm done for life. even with guys I crush on, if they do something to turn me off, like REALLY turn me off, I'm over it.

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  • Nope. If he doesn't want the same things as her then they aren't compatible. The fact he went to become awesome instead of humble speaks volumes as to why she should stay away.

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    • You can use the term awesome interchangable. Awesome, humble, improved, ideal, etc.

      Not that you didn't want the same things, but you didn't want them at the same time. You know? She wants kids right now, he wants to wait a year or two.

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    • He would need to work toward reestablishing open communication, show true affection & humility, go to premarital counseling. Then I would advise to be engaged for no less than a year to see if he's done a real turn around & genuinely is dedicated to relationship this time around.

    • I see. What do if she cheated?

  • Yes it would

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  • If he stopped lying, cheating, manipulating, lying, procrastinating, hurting and lying... then I'd consider it a possibility.

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    • Imagine he was none of those. It was a good relationship, except there was no commitment and you didn't know where it was going.

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    • The last ex was everything I just mentioned earlier but he was incredible in the sack.
      In fact he was without doubt the best lover I've ever had.
      Would this make me go back to him? My answer is no. It's not all about sex and chemistry it's about being wanted, appreciated and needed i suppose. I always felt he could and would replace me in a heartbeat. That was exactly what he did.
      Basically what I'm saying is if you are not head over heels for her. Leave her be. You don't do either you or her any favours by continuing on... because of an orgasm. As fab as it may have been.

    • I really feel I lost something with her... I deeply miss her... but I don't think I can get her now. I tried for months and she just.. yeah.

What Guys Said 3

  • If you both still feel that you can get pasts the difference and work things out i guess.

    I would like to know why do people go back to someone that hurt them. You know when I dated my current ex I gave her the world, and I knew she has been hurt and I tried my best to mend her back. She loved me but was not in love which was beacuse her ex was trying to get back in after nine months. Then she left and went back to him, you know he hurt her cuase he wanted to find himself and flirt with other women.

    Its stupid if you ask me, to throw away a man who was way better than their ex. She still has a lot of growing up to do. Oh well life moves on.

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  • Nothing. I've done it twice now and it never works out. Just move on and la la la

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  • If you were not motivation before, who says you will be now? Might be a good reason you were not supposed to be with him

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