Is my heart truly broken or am I just pathetic?

Feel free to be as brutal as you like. So my girlfriend broke up with me 3... maybe 4 weeks ago, I've lost track of things like days and weeks. Our relationship (if you can even call it that) lasted less than 2 weeks. She had a lot of baggage but I wasn't aware that it was going to affect her feelings about our relationship so drastically. Thing is we weren't together long (I know for certain we've as of now been broken up for longer than we were together) but she wormed her way further into my heart than anyone ever has, faster than anyone else (kinda scares me). Now that she's gone life just seems gray. I don't enjoy anything anymore, and bad things just don't even faze me. I feel like my life went from full HD to grainy black and white in an instant. I have no motivation and barely get out of bed except to go to work. I honestly can't see me getting over her anytime soon. Frankly, she was the best girlfriend I've ever had. I spend nights listening to depressing break-up music (mostly Linkin Park) and even crying (I haven't cried over a woman since my first love back in high school). I miss her horribly and sometimes talk to myself like I'm talking to her, saying things I wish I'd said.

My depression is leaking over into every area of my life and people are taking notice, but I couldn't care less. Today one of my closest friends from work asked me why I was "having a bad day" and "why I had to make everything so hard". I didn't even bother replying because I'm sick of telling people I'm fine when I'm not, even though I can't exactly tell them what's going on. 80% of my brainpower is spent thinking about her, us, things I might have done wrong (She said when we broke up that I'd done nothing wrong but somehow I doubt it), ways to convince her to come back (all of which I end up discarding because I believe she just isn't interested in me on any level now), and even things I would say to her now if we got the chance to have a conversation. Am I pathetic?

  • Utterly pathetic
    Vote A
  • Pathetic, get over her already
    Vote B
  • Sounds like you need a hug :(
    Vote C
  • Completely normal
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something similar happened to me recently. I met a girl on a dating site, and we connected so well on so many levels, physical attraction, personalities matched etc, great chemistry. We talked on the phone for hours almost every day for almost 3 weeks, had phone sex and shared lots of personal things with each other, past experiences and interest and future goals etc, we talked about this potentially being the beginning of something serious, but while i was already certain i wanted something serious with her, she was very unsure and nervous about how it would go when we would have our date.

    So we meet have a great date and have great sex. She tells me in the morning she isn't ready for a relationship.( i could tell by her body language after she orgasmed and during the night that she was in deep thought and concerned and backdrawn, she had tears in her yes etc)

    She seemed sad and concerned about me since she knew what i wanted. I didn't realize this meant we couldnt see each other anymore, so i just told her i had no expectations but would like to see her again, she was hesitant but agreed. i also gave her a small gift before she left, a souvenir stone to remember me by. but slowly after our date she started to become distant. She avoided talking to me on the phone, and eventually i asked her what was wrong. she told me she became backdrawn because she felt i wanted more despite her telling me she wasn't ready. I told her i understood that but i wanted to keep in touch with her if possible. She avoided the question and told me i scared her away with the gift i gave her, and she told me she was unfortunately still scared away. i thought it was an excuse so i called her out on her hypocrisy and that i realized she was trying to get rid of me (i was sad since i though if she wanted to get away she could just have told me she couldnt see me anymore as i told her i had no expectations)

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    • some days after she texted me apologizing for her behavior and that it wasn't her intention for this to happen. She wished me well and said that i was a great guy. I tried calling her but she wouldn't respond.

      So im thinking since she had told me earlier that she had broken up with her ex about a year ago since he stopped caring about her. And that she had so much going on right now with school and was going to travel and work abroads in 2015, i think she was honest about not being ready, but probably felt bad because she had told me so many things before, and just saying she wasn't ready might not seem like a good enough excuse unless she told me why. But i think she got feelings for me and tried to break off the connection before she got attached. Since she has been hurt before and its a big emotional engagement to be committed to one person, and she had so much going on in her life at the moment.

    • Show All
    • If I'm completely honest. I'm convinced the relationship is beyond saving. We knew each other for about 2 weeks before we jumped straight into a relationship (Only now do I realize that was way too fast, I just set myself up for failure). We were in a relationship for less than 2 weeks, 5 days of which she spent trying to push me away while she figured out how to tell me that she wanted to end it because she "[knew] it would hurt [me]". I know pushing her about it like I did, confronting her when she didn't want to talk about it pissed her off, but I've been down the road of just being friends with someone I have feelings for before. I'm never going to hurt like that again, or be betrayed like that again. I now believe that I have to walk away, if not for her sake, then for mine. As the saying goes "Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely" I'm not ready. I see that now. I need to get my own house in order before I can invite someone in you know?

    • There are things I still need to work out, problems I still need to solve before I can be in a healthy, caring relationship with someone. Because of the type of person I am, I love saving people, helping them fight their inner demons. But I didn't see that I can't save someone else from their demons, if I'm still struggling with my own.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Less than 2 weeks? I wouldn't call you pathetic, but I would call you overly dramatic.

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    • Yeah, I know what you mean. Like I said I've never gotten that close to someone so fast or fallen so hard. That's kinda why I'm asking this question in the first place... because it just didn't seem normal.

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    • You said you were falling for her.

    • yeah I was, but I certainly was't there yet. She cut it off before I got any farther than thinking to myself: "You know... if this keeps going like this it could turn out to be something really special"

  • you sound so sad! I wish I could give ya a big hug... I know how it feels... nothing helps! )-; I feel ya!

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  • I think it's pretty normal.

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  • You broke of with your dreams and that hurts give yourself time to mourn. Treat yourself write...

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What Guys Said 2

  • tl;dr
    Just wait it out. It'll go away. I promise.

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  • Its normal, if anybody says other wise there just a jackass

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