Is it ok for exes to be friends?

do you think its ok for exes to remain friends? is there honestly nothing but friendship shared in these relationships? does a person's sexuality maybe a difference in these cases? what do you think?

Updates:
Assuming you are now in a committed relationship is it ok... most of the answers I'm getting seem to be from single people who potentially want to get back with their ex

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends how your new significant other feels about it.

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    • I recently broke up with a women for not ending frienships with an ex. She cried and begged but we both laid down the law and I walked away. She said that I was controlling and I said its about respect. We made our decisions.

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    • I meant to write a response to this when I wrote my opinion, but missed it. Why should the feelings your current SO have dominate your relationships? It's wrong to try and force someone to end a friendship just because that person happens to be an ex. Anyone who is so jealous that they feel the need to force their SO to cut ties with another person is not ready for a real relationship.

    • Says the kid to the man. Listen it has nothing to do with jealousy or anything a childish person would say. It has to deal with making an the best effort to make a relationship work.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • Having tried to be friends with an ex it lead to problems. We'd just keep fighting over what broke us up and then it'd complicate things if we were together and she was off with an ex. Granted the nature of the breakup as a lot to do with it, but it also complicates things should the person want to date someone else. One reason being the other may still have feelings, and another being that the potential person to date is automatically going to be suspicious.

    I personally feel it is more trouble than it is worth.

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  • Sure it's okay.

    You have to trust the one you are with. My gf goes to coffee with her one ex once or twice a year. He treated her horribly and felt bad about doing it. I think he just wanted to apologize for being an ass.

    What I did do, was sit down and ask her directly whether she had any feelings for him whatsoever. She said no and that she just wanted to clear the air with him... give him a chance to do the right thing. I gained a lot of respect for her, because it furthers my opinion of her being a good woman.

    She said that if he made her feel uncomfortable at all, that she would not do it ever again. She said I did no have anything to worry about. She even invited me to meet him the first time.

    There comes a point when you have to throw caution to the wind and trust your partner. If you do this, you show her respect, you believe her and that you are putting your heart in her hands. Sometimes you have to be vulnerable.

    However, if it was more frequent then I might be a little concerned. I guess it is the context of it all.

    If it is more often... like a friend that she wants to hang out with periodically, then perhaps put the shoe on her foot. Perhaps talk to an old friend that was a gf that you still get along with... if she freaks out at that then you can say... why is it any different?

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  • of course no , you'll always be remembering what has been between you two , it will cause you pain and curiosity. Even if you get over it , when you be beside him your organs will trigger. brain and body especially the feeling side because they can't make difference.

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    • what if there is still friendship and conversation but there is never contact... like the two never visit each other in person

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    • thanks for your opinion i really appreciate it because i was hoping to get a guys perspective... one more question for you if you don't mind... what if they are technically not exes like they were never officially together they just used to sleep together you know a friends with benefits situation

    • friends with benefits.. i think it's ok for them to be friends since in the first place they didn't have feelings towards each other.

  • No never. Learn to break up with your partner. We won't stay friends. I already have friends. I dumped my last girlfriend for that reason. Trying to convince me all the time that she's just ''friends'' with her ex. Since she didn't know how to break up, I was the one who gave her a lesson. And what pissed me off even more is that she demanded from me to be ok with that while at the same time she didn't wanted me to chat with other women on FB some of them MARRIED.

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  • It can work both ways, since your in a committing relationship,
    Having your ex around may influence your relationship.

    If you like the things he "used" to do better than your SO your with now. = bad
    (If your Ex steps his game up sorta speak.)

    and vise versa, If your SO does something better than your Ex, then it only gets better for you and him.

    Happy loving. xoxo.

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  • Im actually fairly good friends with one of my exes. tbh, im not really sure how or why it worked out like that, it just did. There hasn't been a resurgence of feelings for either of us, weve both moved on and seen other people, we hvnt rebounded, we can hang out just by our selves without it being awkward. Its just the way it is

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  • friends with your ex = the best

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  • I think so. I'm friends with only one. I don't want anything to do with the other ones...

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  • I don't think they should be friends but I definitely don't think they should ignore each other. there should still be some contact. like checking up on the other.

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  • With the exception of one ex I am good friends with all of mine. There is no rule saying you cannot remain friends.

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  • I don't think its a good idea if you want to have a good healthy relationship in the future.

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  • I think it's fine. I am good friends with most exes. As long as there are no feelings remaining, and I definitely don't feel any emotions for the exes.

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  • Yes why not
    Being gud friends u can really still know ur likes n dislikes n if u r mentally stable after break up with ur loved ones u can be friends
    I m gud friend of my 3 ex girls n friendship going on

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  • Yes I'm friends with my ex have been for 3 years At first we wan't? Its funny course we get on better in some ways then we was together LOL BUT now we are like brothers and sisters that's the way I look at

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  • I personally do not think its a good idea, especially if you are in a new relationship... always cut the previous one off the roots.

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  • Nope. Not for me. She's an ex for a reason. It's just best to have no communication.

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  • If nothing's gonna happen and it's not weird than yea it's possible

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  • I know you want to but no. you're allowed to be polite but thats the extent of it

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  • Yes it is okay. That always leaves the option for just sex.

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  • No, never. Worst idea. Ex's are the best way to cause drama later. It has never happened to me and there is a reason why, I have seen it happen too many times to others as ex's become jealous and want to cause havoc more times than not if they see their ex happy. Always a bad idea.

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  • Yes, surely why not?

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  • Well, you can butttt I'd question their MO

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What Girls Said 31

  • Yeah, as long as they can get along there is no reason that they can't. I know two or three former dating couples and one former married couple who are still good friends. Probably takes a bit of restraint at times, I haven't really been there so I personally don't really know for sure.

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  • 110% okay as long as they are not an idiot.

    I am best friends with 3 of my ex's and pretty close with 2 other one's. As long as their attentions are good and you feel comfortable around them and like you can continue being just friends than go for it.

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  • Nope. I wouldn't recommend it especially if 1 of them is seeking out a serious long term relationship.

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  • My first boyfriend and I are still friends. We don't hate each other. We were going to try again at a relationship but he had fallen for abother girl aleady abd he told me this and during that time I met my current boyfriend. But we support each other and help each other when needed still
    note we dated 5 years ago and 10 months ago we were going to enter a relationship again.
    my second boyfriend and I hate each other and don't talk and it's been almost 2 years. We had a 1 month relationship.
    mu 3rd boyfriend and I are still friends and we have college classes together because we have the same major. We joke around and act like best friends.
    And then there's my current love my boyfriend :)
    I think it's all in the couple and hiw their relationship was and why they broke up. And hiw bad the break up was. I've had one bad experience and 2 good endings.

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  • Yes, if you two understand boundaries. I don't feel you should make enemies with ex's. It's good to make peace with the past and accept that the two of you will never be and that's okay. I stayed friends with one of my ex's. He's a daddy now :-) I'm happy for him. He has accomplished a lot, but I could never imagine ever being with him again and I'm okay with that.

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  • Never never never. I would never date a guy that had any type of relationship with his ex.

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    • But why? I feel the same I'm just curious to hear your thoughts

    • Because never trust whores. And yup that's my only explanation.

  • It depends on how the relationship ended. If it was amicable, then maybe with time. If there was cheating or something similarly horrible, you can't be friends. I see no reason why sexuality would affect this one way or the other. People are just people.

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  • I never end things on bad terms, so inevitably the attraction won't go away unless we cut each other out. I couldn't be friends with any of my ex's, too much 'chemistry'.

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  • It's okay if you feel that you can emotionally handle it. I had an ex and we were still friends and he ended up liking my friend so it just made me jelous and insecure and wonder if he liked her the whole time. But if you feel that you can move on and still keep in touch do it.

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  • If you are okay with it then I say go for it. But I personally am not friends with my ex at all just because I think it would be weird.

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  • Only if it doesn't effect future relationships.

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  • An ex ans I once tried to be friends... But to others, it looked as if we were still datin... And we did kinda act as if we were.. So nahhh I left that alone. I'm not one for befriending an ex. Ex-Be-Gone!!

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  • I definitely think it's great for exes to remain friends, but I also believe that there is usually if not always some sexual feelings remaining

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  • I absolutely love my ex!!! He was an amazing boyfriend and became my best friend through our relationship. When he had the balls to tell me that he was having feelings for another girl instead of cheating or leading me on further I was sad. But I was also thankful that he had enough respect for me to not violate the bond we had built. He is still my best friend and I love that he and his wife are in my life.

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    • Wow I don't know if I cld do that

    • Honestly it was hard at times but he's just been in my life through everything! He says it bothers him when I date from time to time and I got trashed when he got married but we've been friends now for six years after our break up. His wife had a harder time with our friendship but she and I are really close now as well. It helps that we have never given her a reason to question things.

  • Depends on the type of relationship. I am best friends with an ex but we dated 5 years ago and it wasn't for longer than a few months. We were also friends before but I would say no if it was longer and feelings are obviously showing on at least one side

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  • If both parties have really moved on but not recommended

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  • As long as you're just friends with the exes then yeah its fine :)

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  • yes i deem it ok

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  • of course it is... just as long as you both come to the conclusion of friends only... no funny business or you'll grow feelings again

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  • Of course !!!

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  • It's okay as long as they each respect boundaries, it's only a problem when an ex expects you to be as available to them as you were when you were dating.

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  • To me it is, but apparently not to my exes...

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  • if you just grew apart maybe but if either of you have feelings for each other I dont see it going well

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  • I think so.. I'm friends with some of my exes. I was good friends with them before, though.

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  • Sometimes yes and sometimes no

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  • I think no.

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  • I'm not, i think sex changes things between friends. Sometimes those feelings of intimacy can come back. I'm not okay with my SO being friends with his ex either, i wouldn't want them hanging out if I'm not there

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  • If two past lover can remain friends, it's either they were never inlove or still are.

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  • Only on the surface to make life tolerable and grease the wheels
    but NEVER trust them again, as you are just dirt for them to walk on
    Forgive but never forget as your defense

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  • The exs that I have become friends with have really been friends at the beginning than slowly we grew apart. Now the one I was with for the longest time broke up with me wanted to be "friends" and obviously that isn't the case.. him and 8 cnt fully let go of each other.. it's obvious we both have feelings for each other. I believe it's true what they say if you really can only be friends it's because one person didn't really like the other

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