Tips for a first breakup?

I was dating my ex for 9 months. We both care for each other a lot but he decided that we wernt compatiable and called it off (we fought a lot, im overly insecure). He was my first boyfriend and first person i went all the way with (he took my virginity) we both are gonna try to be friends for the sake of each others health and the fact that we also work together. I feel like I've lost a part of me. He has been threw breakups before so he keeps reassuring me that ill be okay but i dont feel like i ever will be okay again ): what are some good ways to relax your mind over a first breakup?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to be friends straight away after a break-up because you're still communicating, involved in one anothers business, still reminding eachother that you've broken up. My best advice is to take some breathing space and avoid contact, at least for a few weeks so you can both heal. You honestly will be fine in a few weeks, that sinking feeling will begin to fade and you'll start wondering why you were so down. In the meantime, remove anything and everything that reminds you of him in your room or wherever out of sight for now, constant reminders only make things worse. Store pictures of anything ex related on your phone to a computer and delete from your phone. Spend time with your friends and family, focus on your studies/work, treat yourself to some new clothes - be distracted. Wallow in it sometimes, cry when it feels right but when you're done don't stay in that state of mind, go okay so that happened but i'm gonna move on from it now and do something else. You honestly will be fine, it's the first but probably not the last, you get used to these situations the more experience you have so treat it as just that, a minor bump in the road to overcome and drive on from. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 14

  • a knife and an exit strategy? No seriously no contact, its hard to be friends with an ex under normal conditions but the attachment of your first love is going to make it damn impossible for awhile. Just keep distance and keep busy with hobbies and friends. Start trying to date again asap helps to. Dig into online dating. Even if you do not go out on dates just looking helps shift your mind.

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  • Friends won't work for along time.
    Just takes time. Don't get into any rebound relationships. They start for the wrong reasons and never work.
    Spend lots of time keeping busy. Hang with friends and have fun. Don't sit and stew over the relationship. Or post asking how to move on anymore. That just keeps you in the wrong zone you should be in.

    Think positive , know you are a great person and a great catch for some other great guy who's out there.
    Thank god you didn't end up pregnant. There's a positive thought.
    Takes time. Spend it on yourself. Comedy / laughter helps if you start feeling depressed or down. If you find your mind wondering and you can't seem to get your mind off him , grab a piece of paper and start writing down every thing that comes to your mind.
    You may think that's silly but , to get it on paper it takes concentration and slows your mind. B4 you know it you will be off thinking about other things. #1 tnink about you and who you are.
    Good luck

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  • Please trust me when I say YOU WILL BE OKAY! I know what you're going through right now. About a year and a half ago the girl who I was MADLY IN LOVE with dumped me and broke my heart. She was my first girlfriend (yes i was 20 years old) and the first time I had ever been in love. At the time I truly felt like I would never be okay again, never be able to get over her, and was seriously considering suicide... But guess what? It DOES get better. It may not seem like it right now but trust me however long it takes (maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe longer) you'll be okay. The only thing it takes is TIME :)

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  • Just mark it down as Excrescence? But one thing, you will remember this for the rest of your day's and When do think of it, Try and think of all the good times you had together and that special moment
    To get over it, In my way of thinking you WILL get over it but it will take TIME , Try and do something that you really like that you haven't dun for a long time. Talk to your mom talk to some of your friends , If their your friends they will understand? You might cry sometimes and that's Okay to, So just hang in there Go on a trip some were or you might want to stay home? Take care

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  • Do things for your self: get a new hobby, go on a long trip by yourself or something - anything to get your mind of him. Try and get rid of things that remind you of him too.

    Being friends with an ex is extremely hard though, and that's exactly why I decide to end the friendship too. But this is up to you completely.

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  • Public place, keep it simple, like a band aid, blunt, don't hug them even if they cry cuz it could send a mixed signal.

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  • Awe, you poor thing. He broke your heart and disappointed you. It will take some time and I think you will have a hard time being just friends if you feel this way and its your first time, you are not strong from this happening. You should eat your favorite comfort foods, buy yourself something nice, make yourself pretty and don't let him do it to you again. If your just friends and you feel this way, it will hurt deep inside your gut if you see him with another girl.

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  • Get on Tinder, go on a date. Kiss, DO NOT fuck. kissing will make you feel free, sex will make you feel gross.

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  • Video games is my go to activity. not sure if you're a gamer though

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  • Honestly blunt here ok, just find someone else! You will i promise

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  • Time is the only thing that heals.

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  • Make yourself busy to forget your ex...

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  • Well I kinda had to deal with something worse than being dumped at the time so it went by quickly

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  • Something like listening to music is the best way, at least for me.

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What Girls Said 8

  • It's going to be hard, not going to sugarcoat it at all. It's totally okay to cry and have some alone time but then, when YOU are ready, get up from that bed of yours. Hang out with some friends and do things you always wanted to do or things you find exciting. Have something to keep you busy everyday or at least during the weekend. When you feel okay with the idea, delete all his messages and pictures from your phone. When the time is right, meet new people and hang out more often with your friends. Everything will be okay. Unfortunately it won't be your first breakup but it will get easier. Trust me, there is someone out there that is probably waiting to make you happy but you have to wait for it. Stay strong beautiful. You'll be thanking him in the future :)

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  • Trust me I understand how you feel. Just got out of a 8 month relationship too with a guy that was my first everything. He has some major major family problems and recently he completely changed, to the point where he was calling me names and talking about me behind my back. I called it off and that weekend sat in my room and didn't eat, sleep, or bathe. I know how you feel. It's been 2 weeks and sure it still sucks, but the only thing that helps is time. He still talks bad about me, but you learn to deal with it. Cry and scream and watch romantic comedy's, but get back to functioning when you're ready because it's not the end of the world. I read a book called, "it's called a breakup because it's broken." It's amazing. I was there less than a month ago and it gets better with time.

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  • Girl, first heartbreak I swearrr is soo tough, but eventually you'll get over it. You just need time. Stay busy, set up a goal, and you don't need a person in your life who doesn't need you. With time you'll be perfect, just that you'll miss him from time to time, but you'll move on and it won't matter to you anymore. :')

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  • It's hard. The first time a boy broke up with me, I didn't know what to do. I became insecure and would get angry if he was mentioned in my presence.
    I was a real jerk.
    However, we began to talk after a month or two. We then went into an on/off again relationship. When we both finally called it off, we became close friends to each other. And even though he's dating another girl now, I can be supportive of him. Time will heal.

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  • Break ups are always devastating at first, and it always feels like you'll never get over it, but then you do. The hardest part for you will be the fact that you work together and are going to try to stay friends, honestly i think that's a bad idea right now, you can't be friends with him your wounds are too fresh, you need to give yourself space from him so that you can heal, and maybe one day when you're over him you can be friends.

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  • Do all your favorite things, movies, food, drink, hang out with friends and cry. Best of all, give it time, I promise you, you will get over it and then the next guy will come along and you won't even remember how you felt before

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  • Stay away from potato chips
    Chipotle
    Water to clench the thirst
    No rebounds
    Find yourself
    Find some self esteem
    Love yourself
    Wash your hands with the situation

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  • Stay strong, Be TRUE to yourself. Do NOT let anyone keep you down or stop you from accomplishing your dreams. Wear an outfit that makes you feel like 1million bucks! Do your hair, talk with friends, see a movie, and let him GO! Do not feel pressured into friendship. There are no rules saying you must be friends, unless you CHOOSE this. Learn to be a little hedonistic. Enjoy the things that bring you pleasure and happiness. Life is too short. There are millions of people in this world. Odds are you are bound to find someone DESERVING of you.

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