It was 3 days ago my boyfriend of a little over a year asked for a break. It's a little harder for us I have a child and he has two kids. We both knew this before while we were just friends. We took are time and when we were ready we started getting serious. Are relationship was great he was so happy as was I. We lived a little apart but we would go back and fourth. He works a lot and he's also into a racing career. I knew all this before as well and I was ok with it. We never fought life was just amazing. Till the past weekend. When I got to his house and he got there right off the bat I felt like things were odd. I know he works a lot and work takes a lot out of him so that's what I thought it was. Over the rest of the weekend he just seemed not the same. It wasn't us. I asked if he was ok a few times I didn't want to bug him he told me he was fine. Or nothing. Then Monday came can that morning he asked if we could talk. So long story short we did and he said he thinks we should take a break. I asked why and all he really said was my yelling. Meaning my 6 year old doesn't always listen and I yell sometimes. Now he had kids to. And he did yell at them also. I asked what the break meant and he didn't know either he doesn't know what he wants. How can we be great last weekend and then things change so fast. Does he just have to much going on with work and this race car stuff? Thanks sorry it's long.
Most Helpful Guy
It could be that he has things going on, but I'm not sure what else to tell you other than you need to set a time limit on this "break". Tell him that he has a week to sort out his feelings, you'll go off and do your thing - and at the end of that week he needs to decide whether you two are getting back together or splitting altogether.1
Most Helpful Girl
Things most likely didn't change so fast, he was probably just hiding how he really felt. I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and a couple of months ago he also acted weird and when I insisted on knowing what's up, he eventually said he wanted a break. Like you, I was taken by surprise because up until that day when I noticed he was weird everything seemed fine. But I know he's had these thoughts for a while now, I just didn't notice it, mainly because he never said anything.
Everyone told me that I need to give him the break that he wants. There were times when I wasn't sure if we're still even together or not, and like you, I wanted him to know that I care, that I want this relationship, that I want to work on things, etc.
A friend gave me really good advice. He said that if I really want him back, I need to give him the space he asked for. He said that I need to allow him to miss me. That means no contact. At first I felt anxious about this because I thought that if I don't contact him, he'll think that I am no longer interested or have given up on him or that he doesn't really mean all that much to me. My friend said "trust me, he knows you want the relationship". It took me a while to finally go through with the contact, but one day I just did it and it took less than a week for my boyfriend to snap out of the "I want a break" phase. Honestly, don't look for excuses to contact him, don't think you have to let him know how much you care. He already knows. Give him a chance to miss you. Good luck! Oh and yes, no ultimatums, they don't really work. Of course, should he still act like this in say five weeks then I'd say it's fine to ask him to make his mind up, but I wouldn't pressure him just yet.1