Need help on the no contact rule. Will this push her away? Will she miss me?

So I sent my ex a note yesterday basically initiating the no contact method. She said she thought it was fair. I told her I will disappear from her life from January 21st to February 27th and on the 28th she had to have come up with something far as if she wants to move forward to starting over or she just wants to be friends. I love her enough to let her go and figure this out. Do you think she seen this as a sign of strength? Or will this push her away. I Did this because she's confused. She needs to heal and forgive me. And we have talked every day since the break up. So like the anger she has towards me can't be properly healed or handled if she gets reminded of all the bad once stuff has been going good. I figured this is happening because she hasn't really had that space FROM me. She obviously feels something because she hasn't completely broke it off. We hang. We see movies with just me her, and some with her daughter as well. She hasn't taken my ring off and she says she never will. I just don't know. She tells other guy's she's working on this relationship with me. And then tell me something completely different. Like she confused and doesn't know. So I did the no contact Starting today. Should I get her and her daughter something for Valentine's day? I want to! but I will do it discretely. Or will it go against the no contact? Help please. I just hope this doesn't mess up things. Far as the no contact.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not your place to initiate a no contact rule since you're the one who cheated in the first place. But if she requests that you give her space, then do it. if she's seeing someone else, (even if its just a date or a friend) your relationship might be over soon coz by seeing someone else besides you means she realized she needs to have you replaced one way or another. Or at least moved on. can't you just act normal again and give your everything into winning her trust back?

    • So should I stop the no contact? I can act normal but it hurts not knowing how she feels... because she doesn't know. So I figured this would be a sign of strength and me helping her come to decide what she wants.

    • I just don't know how to befriend her when I'm in love with her. So it's just hard. Do you think no contact will lose her?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Separating yourself from her is the worst way possible to fix a problem in my opinion. I've tried that and it's stupid as hell and results in you losing the relationship. Sometimes we need to push down our pride if and admit we have feelings for that person and whatever the argument was stupid.

    • You should really read my other posts. I think she needs time to heal without me there. Only for a month. I feel I'm slowing the healing process up by talking to her every day. So I don't know. I really hope this doesn't result in her not wanting anything more than friendship but if this is the case I love so much I will do this.

    • I still feel pretty strongly that separation and being away for long periods of time isn't healthy. I'm basing that off of my own experience. But whatever feels best to you is what you probably should do. After all you know her, not me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • what did u do wrong to make her angry and need time out?

    • Ok I so this was my real relationship. And I knew she was the one but I was running from it. I was SCARED so I cheated and got on websites like pof... and had hidden it from her. I did this because all I knew was temporary. And by doing all that stuff it made me feel safe because it was exactly that temporary. So I just was scared of my masculinity and so I didn't give her all of me when I should have. me spending time away has helped so much.

    • Show All
    • She found out on her own. I Lied about it. I had hidden it. It very very much wrong. And then I was talking to her time and time again. Never did anything else. But like I said everything in side of me knew she was for me. I was just running scared. But this is not what was happening at the end when I said we should split. For months I was good working on earning her trust.

    • But was still struggling with the fear inside me. And at this time she very busy. What was I supposed to say after It said plenty of times I need you here I need to talk. I can come to you if you want. but it never happened until I thought she coming then said she couldn't anymore because of some mix up. Which I knew she was telling the truth. But I was still angry. So I sadly said the words I regret. But I can't say that because this time help me overcome my FEAR

  • Stick to ur plan will br fine

    • What plan? No contact period? Or getting her and her daughter something for Valentine's day? Or not?

    • Yes u cab send her something for Valentine's but other than that no contact till the period over that is perfect

What Guys Said 1

  • Dont contact her she will contact

    • For Valentine's day? Or period?

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    • 95% she will contact u in valentine

    • Why do you feel this way? She is stubborn as well. And if she is expecting me to be there send something and I don't. To her it could indicate I don't care and triggers some sort of anger towards me