How does one learn to love their self so they can be happy being single after a breakup?

Recently broke up with my ex girlfirend whom I still love. But can't stop think about what she's doing and who's she hanging out with. Think this is to do with my own insecurities. I want to develop a love for my self so I can feel confident about being single so I can attract more people around me and improve future relationships and friendships. Any advice much appreciated


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey I'm right there with you, bro. I just broke up with the 2nd girl I ever really loved and I have a 3 year old kid with her. I didn't really want to do it and I still love her very much but I had to do what I had to do. The problem it sounds like is you are codependent on her, like I am with my ex. Too much of your life was revolved around her and you forgot who you were. At least that's how I feel.

    What am I gonna do? The same thing I did when I broke up with the last one. I'm gonna surround myself with support. Renew old, lost friendships, go to concerts, spend time with family, whatever. I'm gonna stay the hell off her Facebook and other forms of social media. I'm gonna work hard and get a membership to the gym with an eye on seeing major results in a month or so.

    Then I'm gonna talk to as many girls as I can. Doesn't matter if I find them attractive or whatever. Could be the cashier at Publix, a 50 year old lady walking past me in the neighborhood or some chick at the strip club. Why? Because we gotta get back to learning how to talk to women again. We haven't practiced in a long time. That way when one you're really interested in comes along you won't trip all over your words and maybe even be able to ask them out. Just getting smiles back will do a lot for your self esteem. By the time you finally snagged one if you've built up your social circle, worked hard and worked out you should have enough confidence to go out with them and show them a good time without wondering what your old home girl was doing.

    Then once you've got them don't make the same mistakes or allow yourself to be treated the same way the last one did ya and maybe you'll have something even better. I know this, I plan to look back at where I'm at today a year from now and laugh at myself for being so soft. I hope you can do the same.

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    • Funny how are lives revolve around out partner then they leave and where like fuck. I'm not the same person as before lol

    • Sorry to here that happened. Things happen for a reason, so looking at the positives always works in your favour. This is gold right here. I completely agree agree a break up you'll realise the expectant you one had on your partner which can the drive you to do all those things your self for the future. Going out like you says and living life to it's Gaullist is problem the best thing you can do. Social media is probably my worst forms of spare time hobbies I'd say haha use them too much. I'm going to minimise my time on their so I can concentrate on becoming a better person in reality instead of viewing everyone else's life changes. I hope all works out for you :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • It takes time, c right now you probably just miss her or the relationship. With time. Start by accepting you guys situation.. appreciating what you had. For giving yourself and her.. I think it's all about acceptance

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    • Yeah I agree once I can accept the break up things will feel better. Just hard to forget about someone you love haha. I think it's a good goal I want to teach though once inlive myself I won't feel so lonely and vulnerable

    • Good luck with ur endeavors, I'm sure that you will find ur way...
      Giving in to anxiety, fear, and worry in no way guarantees that whatever you are nervous about won't transpire. That means that all the time and energy you pour into feeling stressed and upset will be a waste of your time, not to mention a drain on your state of mind. You may be somewhat upset about the way you think a certain encounter or experience will turn out. Stirring up negative energy could create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the worst is what you expect, the worst is what you often get. If you expect the best, though, and you just allow the universe to take care of you, you will be happily surprised by what happens. I'm working on myself now in a similar situation not quite, but I've been holding on to things long enough and I'm working on acceptance, I have a hard time with rejection in all aspects of my life, and I'm trying to change. I hope I was able to help some. Good luck again:)

  • Just look online for self confidence and self love tips. Everybody works differently so it's kinda hard.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Acceptance my friend, that's how I'm coping. She left me for her ex, and its hard when you gave it your all. But acceptance and forgiveness is the key I moving on. The pain is fading everyday and I don't need her in my life. Hopefully our time apart she learns from her mistakes and grows from it. I know I am, and hell summer is coming. I'm ready to be shirtless and mingle :)

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    • I'm sorry to hear that happened. Yeah it is hard but that's exactly right acceptance is the key it's a slow process but every day is a day is a step to the right direction :)

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