Girls, I need some advice, What did I do wrong?

Well, i met this girl who was a few years older than me at a party and we clicked straight away... by the end of the night it was like we'd been together forever... it was the fastest anything like this had ever moved for me and the time frame was all set by her... it took less than a day for her to suggest introducing me to her daughter (which is the biggest compliment anyone could ever have paid me, to trust me that much in such a short period of time)...

everything went perfectly and for the next 2 months it couldn't have gone any better... it sounds strange me saying this but i was the textbook ideal bf... the only way i could possibly have been any more ideal is if i was a millionaire and paid for everything... as it stood, we split everything straight down the middle so i wasn't a financial burden... we had a fantastic time and throughout the whole 2 months there was nothing but laughter and good times... she lived almost 100 miles from me but that didn't stop me being with her for 3 to 5 days a week (the 4 hours a day commute on my little 125 was well worth it)...

As quickly as it had begun, however, it ended... everything was going so well then suddenly, and i mean literally over night it went from "love you, miss you, can't wait to see you again, etc, etc" to "its not gonna work out, its over"... literally over night... everything changed, her vocabulary, her posture, her voice, her eyes, everything changed... She's assured me its not any of my doing but i still can't shake the paranoia and confusion... What happened? she promised me there was no-one else and i'm fully aware that its probably just paranoia but it was such an extreme change in her that there's not many other things except a redirection of interest that can cause that...

Any opinions you can throw my way would be gratefully received...


Most Helpful Girl

  • ... As quickly as it had begun, however, it ended...
    I believe, raelauk, that as wise as I am and as quick as a bunny I am to pick up a sticky situation such as this one, she got cold feet like a duck out of water and thought it best to go back into the murky waters, baggage to boot, because she wasn't ready nor raring for a Real relationship with You and her Other half at this point in time.
    She probably thought it was moving too quickly and although it was 'Literally over night,' it Can and Does happen that grease lightening, where it Suddenly is like a rocket's red blare that the feeling that is reeling is----Suddenly there.
    No, I don't see there is Someone "Else," however, there is "Someone" whom I know she has in mind by doing this 'Extreme change' for and that is Her precious One.
    She may have gotten this rotten egg in her head that suddenly you may yourself just fly the coup someday or the relationship could go South and Both of them, these two birds in their own nest, could be left alone, with... no-one else...
    Might I suggest trying to meet up and having a serious convo and talk things out. You sound exactly like the kind of man she and her daughter need in their lives, where you are One of the few who is this special specimen who has the love and patience that is Needed to make this Special kind of tender loving care relationship work.
    Good luck. xx


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sir

    Reading what ou wrote hurts so much it's like it's happening to me all over again! I was here/ am here just as you. It went from exactly as you stated "love you, miss you, can't wait to see you's" constantly everyday even to basically nothing. And much like you, I can say I was the ideal boyfriend.

    I seeked an answer from her just like you and was left with more confusion by her answer. "Hm, I don't know it's just me". I seeked help from just about every forum site Google could offer, this how I ended up here even and still got no true answer, and that honestly was no surprise because no one can tell us why SHE DID WHAT SHE DID to us mate. As sad as that is.

    The conclusion I came to myself with the responses I received on this site and via one called bodybuilding (these guys are harsh but effective lol)... is basically what you yourself Have already stated...

    "There's not many things other than a redirection of interest that can cause this". This hurts to say, I know. The thought of losing someone special to us, that we believed we were special to, to someone else simply over that person being more interesting in some form or fashion, and us not given the chance to meet this guys lvl or even know something was wrong in order to even fix it.

    But simply just found ourselves being pushed away, or chasing the back of someone that's walking away from us, mate.

    Hopefully she comes around and tells you her REAL reason, which there is one other than "nothing's wrong" or that there isn't anyone else. It's not paranoia mate, well slightly, but it's a gut feeling that's coming from somewhere and it's probably not wrong.

    Good luck if you read this Far


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What Girls Said 2

  • Strange. No clue what could have made her do a complete 180° like that. The only thing that would cause me to do something like that would be if I found something out about the guy that he had hid from me that might put myself or my child in danger... not saying that's the case with you. Or maybe her friends told her they didn't approve of you? Have you tried asking her?

  • A tragedy could make someone totally change... from what you said, I think I'd believe her if she says it's not your doing.


What Guys Said 2

  • Kid's father: is he the possessive type who may have not been happy to have been replaced? I've known of men who physically threatened to harm anyone their ex dated just to exert control. Can't rule it out. This is pretty extreme.

  • I'd put money on someone else.


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