My ex and I are almost 17. I was his first gf. We had known each other for about a year and dated for four months when he suddenly dumped me.
It came as a shock because he was always just as chivalrous, gentlemanly, sweet and attentive to me as he had always been once we started dating. Even up to MINUTES before the breakup, he was always asking me questions about my life throughout the day (either in-person or via text) and paid attention, even when I thought what I was talking about might be boring.
About a week before the breakup, I was recovering from surgery, and the only tiny red flags I noticed were that he was a little less physically affectionate (but that may have been because parents were around and he didn't like to PDA around them) and he spent a little less time with me than usual. I shook that off because he was helping his parents.
I had always noticed red flags regarding his parents. They controlled his life. He had always had to end our dates early because they set strict curfews, even asking me to leave his house early at night. His parents were cold to me once they found out we were a couple. They never let us be completely alone together. Sex was never involved since they clearly wanted him abstinent (I was probably more forthcoming physically than he was!). They wouldn't help him pay for anything. And he LOVED his parents and talked about them a lot (much more than the average teen guy!).
When he dumped me he said he wasn't ready for a relationship but we could still be friends. I said I couldn't trust him anymore and we haven't contacted each other since. He couldn't seem to face me at school and didn't come to my help (but I didn't ask him to). Then he treated me like a polite stranger. Now we just plain avoid each other. He hasn't had another gf.
Did he suddenly lose interest in me? Or is this more about his parents not wanting him to date?
Most Helpful Guy
Thank you for your answer to my question.
Sometimes as a guy you can think that the best course of action is to be a bit cold, even if it's hard.
If he kept being warm after your break up, it would be harder for both of you to move on because you might both think about getting back together.
It's just my opinion, but I think that girls are deal better than guys after those kind of breakups, because it seems you're so much more used to deal with what you feel. As a man it's often easier to cut all contact, to move on.
I think he was honest with you, and he will probably not feel ready for any relationship until he leaves his parents' home, because he seems very grateful, respectful and loving to his parents. But that may be a while and I think he doesn't want to make you waste your time.
As CantHelpHimself said, I also think the best thing to do is to calmly talk to him, making sure he understands that you won't judge him or his parents, and that you just want to know what happened.0
Most Helpful Girl
It was most likely his parent's influence, but in the end, breaking up with you is what he decided to do. It may not even be a direct influence. Whether you realize it or not, parents are really influential and you make decisions without even knowing you are thinking of them. It's part of how we are raised.
Maybe give it some time and try to stay in contact later on and be friends. A lot can happen in a year and especially since it's the year before you turn 18.1
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