My EX-BOYFRIEND's mom DIED and he wants to talk and meet with me?

So he's my first boyfriend and we only dated for 6 months and I broke up with him because even though he was a nice guy he wasn't right for me and my family didn't like him. But we were still really close friends and talked and hung out like before for another 6 months. But to make it short, over a month ago he lied to me about him being online dating and he said he didn't talk to any girls but I found a picture of slutty version of Kim Kardashian... he was keep lying to me about it and later he finally told me the truth because I kept asking him about it. I know he's allowed to do date other girls because we are not official anymore but what makes me mad and hurt was he lied to me multiple times to my face and that I foolishly believed him even though I had doubts. Also, we still had some feelings left for each other (because he was my first boyfriend and he really liked me and wanted to marry me). And I could feel he wants to date me again if my mom is ok with it so he was buying her flowers and chocolates to be on her good side. So when I found out he was lying to me the whole time I stopped talking to him. He sent me the a long apologetic text messages but I didn't respond. And he called me a few times a week after but I didn't pick up. Now weeks after that, he called me about 40 TIMES and texted me over 10 times yesterday that his mom died and he's lonely and he really needs me. All of his family lives far away and I am the only one who knows about his personal life and his mom's health situation. I do care about him but I think it's not going to be healthy for both of us to move on and start fresh. I texted him I will call him today but I don't know if I am doing the right thing? What should I do?
iam 23 and he's 27
Thank you so much for answering my question everyone!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Riddle me this: Why should you support the mental health of someone who knowingly damaged your mental health?

    • I know it's still bad but he joined online dating site when we were "friends" and I know he lied to me and it really hurt me and I don't see him the same way anymore.. so that's why I've decide not to talk to him at all but "his mom died" part made me cry... I guess I don't want to be with him but I still have that caring side? I don't know maybe I am a softy.. My mom will kill me if I talk to him again and I also know he's not the one for me though...

    • Show All
    • And that's amazing the old lady talks to you when you are in need of help. My life is def content because I receive God's grace and love. I am full of joy on my good days... and I am thankful on my bad days because He is with me. It's hard to explain in words because you have to experience it yourself. And I believe anyone is capable of it if they are willing... but everything takes time. You should def go check the churches near you. I won't hurt. The church is very diverse in many ways. "Mere Christianity" by Lewis is a very interesting book so you should check it out! Good luck with your journey and take care! :)

    • it won't hurt *

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • he was dating kim? LOl seriously who is the guy and damn he's lucky
    now on what should u do, i would be there for my worst enemy if thr mum died because hey its one of the hardest thing in life to loose the one who brought u in this world

    • No Kim look alike but even more sluttier and he was talking. Please read the story before commenting

  • He's looking to be consoled and if that means physically then I think he'd be very happy


What Girls Said 2

  • Okay, so... In this case i think you should show your very best side! :)
    Be there for him, losing your mother is a VERY big thing and no matter what his reasons are to reach out to you.. Show him that you care, since you posted this on here i believe you do. (And that's a good thing)

    I don't think anyone on here can really tell what other stuff may come up between the two of you.
    But my advise would be to support him through his loss.

    Also, it would mean a lot to me if hou could check out my latest question and comment :)

    Good luck with this girl, must be hard for you too!


  • One thing that puzzles me is that you are 23 and seem to care so much what your mother thinks who you are in touch with and who you are dating. It really is none of her business. She can say that she doesn't like someone, but that's the most she is entitled to do.

    Now to your ex. As you say, he did nothing wrong with being on a dating site and I am not defending him, but I can see why he lied about it. Had he said the truth, he would have most likely lost you. Of course, his lies achieved the same outcome but I can see why he wanted to avoid drama by admitting that he's online dating.

    I honestly think you should talk to him. His mother just died. I'd pretty much be there for anybody whose mother just died. And quite honestly, I don't think the lie about the dating site was THAT bad. I mean that guy went out of his way to please you (and your mother) and obviously he didn't want to admit that he is online dating but at the same time, you can't expect him to wait around for you and your mother to finally accept him.

    • I just talked to him and his mother committed a suicide. I actually told him to date other girls if he wants to but I think he lied about it because he still had feelings for me and still was interested in dating me. I was more mad about him lying. I don't know about you but to me trust is the most important foundation in ANY relationship. My mother's opinion is important to me and sometimes I make bad decision and follow my emotion more than my logical sense. He said he wants someone to hold on to and hug. He's leaving tomorrow to see his family so he wants me to see him today at his place even though I have full schedule today and tonight. I do care about him but I have 20 units, internships, and other activities going on right now that I don't even have time to hang out with my friends and family. I am in very difficult situation right now.

    • If you don't find the time to go to his place today you should explain it to him and tell him you can meet up in person once he gets back from seeing his family.

      I understand the trust thing and how the fact he lied (and not so much what he lied about) is what bothers you. I've also had people lie to me in the past so I know exactly how it feels. But whilst I can totally see your side, I can also see his side. He was probably too scared of admitting the truth because he didn't want you to think he isn't interested in you or doesn't like you. Of course it's a stupid way of thinking, but it's likely that was his reason for lying.

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