He is leaving me for a woman 20 years older than me and does not admit it. what can I do?

Hey Guys and Girls,
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago. From the first time, we just hit it off and fell in love. We did long distance for one year. After graduating, I came back to his countryto find a job as he asked to move in with him and had plans for us for the future. Last summer was stressful because I kept getting rejected because i did not have a European citizenship. it was a hard summer for me because i had left so many opportunities back in America and found myself completely lost. I was definitely stressed by this situation but then I decided to do a master degree where he lives as this would facilitate everything for me to work where he lives. I then had to come back home to get my student visa and again had problems with this visa but I finally got it. After I arrived to his country to do my master degree, I felt like he had changed, and something was off. One morning, I went through his emails as I needed something I had sent him in the past and I found some emails with this woman and it was obvious they were having something as she asked him if they should not "be seen by people" etc... i let it go and briefly told him about it and he said there is nothing between them + she was more than 40 so he would not do that. the weeks after, I noticed he became very secretive with his phone, he would always have it with him and never let me hold it. We got into fights because of her and his mysterious behaviour, he went to the city she lives in 3 times to go for a walk because he claimed he was too stressed with his job. Anyways so long story short, he told me 2 weeks ago that he wants to find the spark back with me but that we fight too much so he thinks if we keep going like this it will be over for good and he wants us to be friends/roommates. I know he was cheating on me with her but he has been lying to me and I have evidence this has been going on for 4 months. he wants to see me soon to "talk" and i don't know what to tell him? :(
oh forgot to mention i am 23 and he is 30
any guy to give me advice? :)


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  • Nearly four years ago, a man from Egypt found me on Facebook and we had started a whirlwind romance. After getting to know him on Skype, I then flew off to the magical land of Cairo, where I stayed for 30 days. Things went so well that after coming home, I then hopped back on board and it was there, we end up tying the knot at the Ministry of Justice. I remained there for awhile, learning how to be a Muslim's wife... however, with strife.
    I am back in the states now, and with time, like yourself----Found myself lost. I ended up cheating on him, found myself not wanting to be online for him all the time, finally putting a wedge in our marriage with Not going to live with him nor even be with him.
    A lot can change as time goes on. The hands of time don't stand still, as you have found out. A lot of time has passed and when you discovered this, along with This... I felt he had changed, and something was off.
    He has Cheated on you in your LDR, which is one of the hardest relationships to Have and to Up hold of any, believe me, I know this. It takes two special people to tango, two to make the effort and make the time and have the patience, and if One is not keeping up his or her end of the deal, it can turn into a Raw deal and dead in the water in the end.
    He is trying Now to have his cake and it two, with her and giving you the short end of the sticky stick with 'Wants us to be friends/roommates. I see between the lines tha tit is going to end up to be a Triangle Threesome, where you are at the top, looking down, from side to side, at the both of him. Even if he would say "Bye" to her tomorrow, another, even if she were his own age, would come along in the picture, you could never trust him that he would do it again and it's a full circle pattern, down a beaten path, no end in sight.
    It's your choice, your call, how to handle this. However, by giving in to what he wants with you on the side, Her being the main course, you are being Cheated too.
    Good luck. xx

    • i absolutely agree with you and thank you for your advice. The situation is that i finally found a solution to be with him in his country. and when i came back to do my master degree, i thought everything was fine until i discovered he was cheating since September up until now and we were together up until now. like he started chatting with her when i was getting my visa back in Morocco and when i came back i found these weird emails between them and he convinced me it was nothing. and from September to early January we were together but we had fights about her and him being mysterious. and now he is basically accusing me of having triggered the fights and changing him when in fact he changed himself and became like this because he could probably not handle 2 women. I just wanted to have some advice on what I should do when I see him because he wants to talk?

    • Oh, you are so welcome, Lalita24... he may want, as I said above, his cake and eat it two with you and her... however, if it is friends with or no benefits it would have to be your decision, but no matter what he tries to tell you or ask of you, he isn't going to get rid of his other sweet dish... it isn't fair to you and initially you are both where he is in this relationship with Her now and keeping YOU on the sidelines. xxoo

  • If I were you I would end this relationship as he is a cheater. And keep doing master degree and looking for another and keep him as friends with benefits .

    • but how can I keep him as friends with benefits when he seems to be building a relationship with this 43 years old woman? haha. he bought me a gift for my birthday which i refused because i already knew he was cheating. i don't know what he is up to with this woman but when I investigated it seemed like they were making travel plans for May. So when i have this talk with him, i don't know if i should tell him that i know about his little game, or should i be neutral and never let him know i know? i basically want him to regret what he has done.

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    • i agree with you :) what friend are you talking about?

    • I mean looking for a new guy start from classmate/boy from your university or office. It could be anyone. One thing it that is very very important is. You must look hotter than you was with him. Single lady must be beautiful. Actually, girl must always look great.

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