Would it be wrong of me to send a friendly text to my ex?

Basically, I have been going through a hard time with my current boyfriend - no, this isn't going where you're thinking haha. I have no desire to go back to my ex boyfriend, as lovely as he is, we just don't want the same things. However, my current boyfriend has made me realise how much I didn't appreciate my ex. (I have no plans to break up with current boyfriend, i really want to work through our troubles as he's a great guy deep down.)

It was 2 years ago we broke up, so I was a bit younger and just didn't want a serious relationship like he did. So I ended things. However it was as nice as any break up could be, I would never have ended it badly.

Recently though I just really have an urge to send him a friendly text - with no expectations or strings attached - just to tell him that I'm sorry I never appreciated him for how great he was, that I hope he finds what he deserves because he's truly a lovely guy and I hope he's happy.

Thoughts? I'm mostly worried i'll be leading him on, and I would never want to do that as it's not fair. But I do almost wish I could be his friend I guess.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Truth is that there are some kind of feelings/emotions that stir you up and make you want to text the guy. Not sure how to categorize it, but I sometimes do get it. The person influenced you in a good way and feel like you could do with them around you, that you could learn from them. In a strange way you somehow wish they were around. Something like that, isn't it?

    • Did you actually text him and what happened?

    • Sorry- only just seen your reply. I did text him, I made sure I told him in the text that he didn't need to respond but that I just wanted to let him know that we was a really great guy and that I didn't appreciate that enough at the time. He didn't ever reply, but it did make me feel better for sending the message.

    • You mentioned in the original post that you don't want him back. What if he proposes to be friends (lets say he'll do that), would you accept being friend with him or rather not?
      Happy Holidays!

Most Helpful Girl

  • How did he feel about the breakup? Was he hurt?

    • Yeah he was, purely because he loved me, not because of anything I did in the breaking process that could have hurt him. He did understand my reasons too.

    • Since two years have passed, hopefully he's not hurting anymore. I'm sure he'd appreciate the text, and perhaps you could make it clear that there are no strings attached by saying something along the lines of, "You were such a great friend" etc. Would you look at mine please? Thanks! www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1312996-was-it-more-about-me-or-the-parents

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What Guys Said 1

  • well, it all depends on how he feels about you. if he really loved you, not conditional but real love, then he would appreciate your text and you guys could get along as friends. and i think it is sweet. but be careful what you are doing. past is past, and this simple text could lead to something, even unexpectedly.

    i loved a girl, but it didn't workout, and i hated her for almost a year. but time healed my wound and i am open to talk to her, but i didn't really care or expected anything would happen to us...

    • Yeah, I'd like to think he'd just really appreciate it for what it is and not be bitter about it, or try and read too much in between the lines. I guess i'll just have to be careful how i word it.

      Thanks for your perspective :)

What Girls Said 0

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