Should I stay or leave?

I have been with my fiancé for nearly 9 years (I was 16 whe. I got with him) he seams to not want to go out or do anything anymore this has been going on for about 2 years. We hardly ever have sex I'm talking once every 3-4 months. we don't seam to have anything to talk about apart from his job. He hates me talking about mine. He calls me stupid `pet' names never babe or gorgeous or anything like that

There is this guy at my work place he makes me laugh and he is gorgeous. He acts like he is interested but not sure if this is just office banter.
I enjoy being around him he makes me smile.

my fiancé hates me doing overtime and going on nights out with all the work lot.

What to do im so confused. Help


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you ever tried talking to your fiancé about how you feel? He can't read your mind. Communication is the first priority in a healthy relationship. Tell him how you feel and ask him just to listen and not to try to solve the problems. Tell him what you want, what you don't like, and what you think you two can do to reignite the spark. If he doesn't listen, then you tried.

    We all get crushes, whether in a relationship or not; if you truly love your partner, you don't act on those crushes.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like your soul mate and you have been together for nearly this lifetime, and more also like , he is going and has surpassed this "Seven year itch" in this relationship here, dear. He is in This Rut with you, is getting restless, bored and it is affecting him in the bedroom as well as 'Affecting' him emotionally as Far As----He seams to not to want to go out or do anything anymore... H e may not want to be in this Hooked at the hip hindrance with you anymore
    This, too, along with everything else that is on this Listless list, is putting a monkey wrench into your relationship. You both in essence are 'Married in mind' only only and have no bond anymore and whatever may be left, is going quickly out the door.
    Suggest to him that you both take a Break from one another for awhile. You are beginning your own beguine to even look in another direction at a cutie coworker at work, which is telling me you are Missing more than the Kissing at home, you are 'Missing' the man who is Now MIA and what you both shared nearly a decade ago. There is no more open lines of convo, nothing to talk about, nothing in common and it's unhealthy.
    If he hymns and haws of this 'Break' you put with a bug in his ear, take the bull by its horns and do it anyway. Maybe a little wake up call is what this dead head needs to see that he may lose his Queen Bee if he continues to sweep her under the rug like an ant.
    Right now, until something has been decided, don't try and involve yourself in anymore "Overtime"... it will only end up a Triangle Threesome, where you are at the top, looking down, from side to side, at you and the other one who you may find you want to have chasing you around the water cooler.
    Being as wise as I am, let me sum this up for you. It doesn't sound as though it is going to go nor end up going down a rosy path, but end up a War of the Roses in this relationship, that you may have to put an end to yourself eventually.
    Good luck and blessings for 2015. xx

    • Thank you. You really helped. I just stuck. A break seams like a good idea. I have tried this before but he just begs me to stay and he doesn't want to go. Thanks :)

    • You are so welcome.. you say you have done this before? It's funny with a guy when you put a carrot over their soft spot how they whinny and whine all the time.:)) xxoo

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you have to ask what to do, you know something is wrong. You have to make this decision no one can really help. We can give you advice but the decision is yours.

    • Thanks for that. I'm just not sure. Do you think this guy at work has got a thing for me or just office banter?

    • It's really hard to tell from the info i have tbh.

  • Bah, I would leave your fiancé, he seems a selfish dick.
    Leave, and move on.

    • Thanks for the advice do you think I am being selfish because I want to go out and enjoy myself?

    • No problem. No! You won't be selfish, at all! I mean, he si the one who is being selfish.

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