We've been having a rough patch for a few months but I've been rethinking my feelings for him. I rarely if ever look forward to seeing him, he irritates me more than ever, I don't feel connected to him, he's just there, we barely have good conversations about things, I don't crave a text/hug/kiss from him and so on. I feel like the spark has gone, our relationship is bland and I feel numb around him. I can go numb if I'm stressed which I am so maybe it's that? But it's been getting worse over the months. Maybe I should go back to counselling.
I thought it was routine and boredom and for a short while, going out a lot brought us together, but now it does nothing, we're still distant, we barely hug, kiss or hold hands when we're out. I have no drive to make the first move anymore and he never does with me. People could be mistaken in thinking we're on our first date or are just friends, that's how disconnected and quiet we are.
He loves me so much, but he also feels disconnected with me. I don't know if it's all on my part though, I have a habit of distancing myself. I feel uncomfortable saying "I love you" now when I couldn't stop saying it before, I just don't want to say it when I don't feel it.
We both want to make this work though, we want to go back to how we were, we can't leave each other. We spoke yesterday and we've gotten to a point where we think our relationship can't be saved but we don't want to accept that. We still want to try!
How can we/I reignite that spark? Is it even possible? Has anyone recovered from something like this?
Anyway, we're having a break, with no contact so I can understand how I feel about him. So far, I've barely thought about him and I don't miss him which I feel bad about but it's the first day.
Most Helpful Guy
Read these articles, it should give you more insight on what love really is. You two have been together for over 2 years, and it's only been a few months that you two have felt like this. ALL relationships go through this period of lackluster at one point or another. It is VERY rare for 2 people to maintain that lovey-dovey feelings for their whole lives. Infatuation and love are not synonyms, believe it or not. Infatuation will eventually wear off. But love is there to stay, if you choose to allow it.
I suggest you try to remake that first moment that you fell in love with each other. Remember all the words/messages exchanged, redo the first few dates that lead to your relationship, and tell him that you are determined to make this work because love is a choice and you love him enough to choose him and all that he is.0