Guys, why do you turn so cold after a breakup?

He was being so warm and affectionate literally a day before. It came as such a shock? Guys, why do you do this? Do you suddenly stop caring, or are you trying not to give her false hope?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a coping mechanism. Whenever I go through a break up, my brain just switches off, emotionally.

    I will still care about a girl, even love her, after a break up, but since we're no longer a couple, I can't act upon those feelings.

    The emotional dichotomy flips a switch in my head that shuts down those expressive tendencies. Sort of like an emotional circuit breaker, in that it protects me from overload.

    I'm not saying it's the best/healthiest method, but it's also an automatic reaction. I don't do it consciously, and I suspect that other men don't either.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I would still be caring towards her as a friend after the breakup unless she said something mean or rude to me. However if she was the one who broke up with me...
    I would hav my heart absolutely broken. I would love her and hate her at the same time. I would probably still want to be with her, but i would no longer value her as a person. How could i still be nice to someone who left me? How could i still be nice to someone who took all of my trust and betrayed it? How could i still be nice to someone who took all of my love and affection, but failed to return it in the end. Why should i still care for someone who stopped caring for me?

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    • He's the one who broke up with me and wouldn't even tell me why. I shouldn't even care, but it hurts so much. He was so sweet before, I don't know what happened. He won't even talk to me.

    • Wow. I'm so sorry, usually if HE was the one who broke up with YOU he wouldn't do something like that. My only explanation is that he is a cold hearted jerk who hid hid true self before... but I'm sure thats not what u wanted to hear.

  • their mind become locked up. men's brain can't make things round. they either go this way or that way. so, it could take some time to come back to the other way. but they can come back but some case, their character changes after they get hurt according to the book.

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  • Girls often say guys don't have feelings. Being that my girlfriend just broke up with me, WE DEFINITELY DO! AND IT HURTS. Trust me, it's tough for us too. Sometimes we just think that if you see us happy you'll want us back. Hopefully that's true? :P

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  • Because it's not messy. Not cutting ties just prolongs the unhappiness.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because they want the forget and convince themselves that they hate you? Or maybe because they are masking their emotions

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  • I want to know this one to! I think it's bitterness about the whole break up.

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    • Nope, it's because you're suddenly just another girl to us, so the fall from being the one girl to being just another is high, and to you it might feel like we're cruel and cold.

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