What do you say after this happens, how the fuck do you recover?

after 9 months of talking to this guy he just said you are too far away to make me happy were fucking 13 hours away that is nothing compared to what other people deal with i don't want to give up on him i like him so much, i grew emotionally attached to him. it was a huge step for me to talk to someone far away, share personal experiences and even for the first time sext. we had a distance relationship obv but shit after 9 months and im planning to see him he throws me away like that? I don't even know what to say or how to recover from this im just so embarrassed and sad bc I fucking had the feeling it was too good to be true

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It happens a lot more often than you'd think. For all the success stories there are, there are thousands more of failures.

    Sometimes people get dumb and throw away some of the best things in their lives. I would know. I've ran away from more people I've cared about than I care to remember.

    As much as it sucks for you, you have to realize that there is something wrong inside him and he doesn't know how to properly deal with it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • 13 hours by car or by plane? Because that's a massive difference.

    "and im planning to see him" <--- Wait, when did he "throw this away"?

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    • car. its nothing, though I was the one paying for a place to stay and gas I took full responsibility in seeing him. I planned to go out there about a week ago we discussed it so id be there before V-day and stay for a few weeks and eventually if things felt good between us and right id look for a place and work. and just now, out of no where... said he wanted to have sex but realized he connect with no one which is a huge slap in the face and then just said im too far to make him happy.. OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE.

    • By car at a standard 60mph that's 780 mis. That's quite a ways. So it is a perfect scapegoat set-up for internal dilemma. Believe it or not, and it's more "not", you dodged a bullet. This behavior when the pressure is on is a sign of being a waif during other stressful times. There's a lot of stress to relationships. His disassociation with other people a sign of buttcheekery.

What Girls Said 2

  • He doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship, he is allowed to make that decision for himself. He did nothing wrong and it's better that you didn't meet him and become even more attatched. All you had was an idea of him, not the actual person. Learn from the experience and realize that things like this happens. He wasn't the right guy for you because otherwise he would want to make it work and he doesn't. Accept that.

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  • Yes it hurts. You can say nothing or something to him but it won't bring him back. Just move on...

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