My ex husband cheated repeatedly on his fiancée with me so now what?

After my ex left, he went to live with the woman he had an affair with. During the first 6 months of them living together, he cheated on her with me whenever he would drop off the kids from a visit. I finally decided not to be used like that at just be, as my friend out it, a warm place for him to *****. The thing is, I've been on dates for a year now and no one I've met even comes close to his looks and intelligence. I just don't find myself really attracted
to any man. I'm forcing myself to go out, but just not feeling it. The problem is that he came over yesterday and we slept together. In the middle though, he stopped and said he couldn't go on. I thought sleeping again together would give me an ego boost , and he admitted that she doesn't compare to me in bed, but of course I now just feel worse. I'm at the point where I'm thinking of letting her know anonymously, like an anonymous text. I feel bad that she's marrying what she thinks is her knight in shining armor, when in fact he's cheated on her multiple times. She deserves better and yes, it would be revenge because I'm suffering and he's getting away from this scar free. It's hard for me to just let things be and not have him pay for what he's done :/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your ex is a jerk, there's really no doubt about that. But both you AND his fiancee have allowed him to be. She slept with him when he was married, and now you're sleeping with him again when he's engaged to the woman he cheated on you with! I mean your behavior has let him know that this is completely ok. That doing what he did to you was completely ok, and you'll still even give him some added sex on the side.

    Getting involved in these situations is never beneficial. You wouldn't be reaching out to her to assuage your own guilt, but to get him in trouble, and I don't really see the point. What do you mean it's not fair to her to end up with a cheater? She slept with a cheater, so why shouldn't she end up with one? And if you think he's getting away free, you're not seeing the big picture. Any guy that needs to cheat on every woman he's with is not happy. He's clearly not happy with her either or he wouldn't need to cheat. He also likely doesn't trust anyone else because he's untrustworthy (he probably worries all the time that she'll cheat on him, too).

    Let them be unhappy together and you move on to better things. I don't think you'll meet the right guy who clicks for you until you let him go completely.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Do what you want.

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  • There is one thing you should keep in mind above all else, and that is that his fiance is the ONLY innocent party in all of this, and you are every bit as guilty as your ex is. I would suggest you stop trying to make this about you and start making it about her. She is the victim, NOT you. Keep that in mind as you decide what to do.

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    • His fiance was the homewrecker in the QA's marriage. She helped him cheat on her initially. All 3 played a part in this.

    • You're right, I missed that. My bad.

  • You are much kinder than most. I think most people would be like hey beotch you did this to me and guess what. Right back atcha how do you like it

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  • Actually, with a record like that, how could yoube surprised at all?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't make him pay because remember, u were dating as well & he keeps coming back because #1 assuming u have kids together #2 he loves having sex with u & I'm sure u love it as well #3 his fear is to grow old alone but he knows u will always love him & he will end up with u no matter what. Call it strange love, but it is still love & that's worth holding on to!

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  • WTF is all I can say?

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  • You're suffering because you fucked somebody else's man, and you're expecting sympathy here? Ha!!

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