Should I confront my ex?

We broke up in the middle of December of last year but the last time I saw him was for new year's day. After the break up I realized how emotionally abusive he was and how he was using me for money. He had all kinds of plans that didn't fall through once I got fired. I was sad and blamed myself for a lot of things and then I realized that he only was looking for a girlfriend to financially support him. Even though I had recently lost my home he convinced me that he wanted to help me but his whole agenda was to use me instead and when it backfired I was of no use to him. He does not know that I aught on to his plan that did not work but I was tremendously affected by the emotional abuse and threats. I had never felt so low in my life.

I feel like I need closure and that I should message him on Facebook and tell him how I feel and that I know everything and that he was wrong. He lives in another city 2 hours away. He also knows where I live now but I wonder if he would get offended and come after me if I do confront him. I also wonder if it will even matter if I say anything since he is so selfish and used me and never cared then it would not have any impact on him but I really want to do this for myself. I just want to get it off my chest and telling my story has not been enough release I feel like I have to talk to him. I don't care what he says back as long as I feel like I let it go and he is aware that I did not fall for it because he might come back not knowing that I figured everything out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow he treated you like crap... nice guy!

    You have to weight the risk in the situation... if he was emotionally abusive, then he could easily elevate this to physical if provoked. Conversely if you feel as though you can't keep calm, and a heated argument ensues you may make it physical, which he could then use it against you.

    Count yourself fortunate you found out and cut it off early... use the information you learned from this guy so you can be sure you don't end up with another leach. What goes around comes around. He will eventually pay.

    Don't blame yourself... these guys can be very sneaky and play off your kindness. Look at the positive side... you ditched a loser and now you can look forward to someone that will treat you properly :) Finding that person and parading him by your ex someday on the street will be your final revenge.

    Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.

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    • Well that makes sense I am grateful that I feel like I dodged a bullet but the more I realized what was going on it just angered me and I felt really bad. I have already forgiven him but not myself because I can't believe that I was in that situation and didn't see it then. Now that its over I have not found what it will take for me to just accept it and get past it I'm still salty about it because it still hurts. I went through so much in such a short period of time I never experienced so many ups and downs and emotions all at once.

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    • You're welcome things are getting better now :)

    • Glad to hear it!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • move on. don't stay with another guy who's the same next time.

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    • I didn't stay I left after a month so it didn't last long my question was about confronting after the breakup and finding out things that he did not know that I became aware of.

    • yes.. and I said you should move on. stop dwelling on it. he treated you like shit. what makes you think he cares about anything you have to say? you'll only be feeding his ego.

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