He broke up with me because he's stressed with work and life. Is it an excuse for not wanting to be with me?

I'm 24 and he's 30. We were dating for 4 months. I know not a long time but I think we clicked. He's a cop and his schedule was pretty hectic and we saw each other once a week but were talking everyday. He's been stressed with work and needing to find a place for him and his mom who can no longer live alone due to financial and health reasons. We live about 20 mins away from each other and the place he's thinking of moving to is about 30-40 mins. Two weeks ago he told me that he could not offer me anything more than friendship and that he needed to be alone right now. That with the extra distance between us will make things even harder on top of everything. He said he still wanted to talk to me and for the first week we were still talking and I told him that I knew he was stressed but I wanted to be there for him and he said you are. Our last convo I told him I didn't know where I stood with him and if I should move on or not. He told me there's a possibility in the future but I shouldn't stop life because of him. I didn't respond back and now its been a week and I haven't heard from him. Should I keep giving him space to sort out his life or was this all a bunch of excuses for him not wanting to see me and I shouldn't even bother hoping?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he has a lot on his plate, he mentioned his mum has health and financial problems and he needs to find somewhere to live... you just don't make that stuff up and it is amazingly stressful.
    A relationship might just be that extra thing in his life right now that is too much.
    When my dad died I moved in with my mum for 6 months so she was not alone and I walked away from my entire social life during that time.
    Don't over analyze what he has said, take it at face value, let him know your there if he needs support / help just don't push the issue, in time everything will settle back to a normal pace, and hopefully it works out for you both

    • Do I reach out to him or should I give him space and let him come to me if he needs me?

    • Show All
    • Sounds like you'll be fine, just don't put him on the spot about relationships issues, and keep it less intense when you do talk, maybe a little less often would help too

    • space helps too

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What Guys Said 1

  • He might actually be concerned about causing burdens for you. If he's Dealing with a lot he might feel like it would be unfair to include you in the headaches. I'd just say high and let him know youddon't need him to provide anything other than company. If he doesn't respond or rejects it he either can't deal with a relationship now or is making excuses. Just be prepared in case he doesn't want to continue dating.


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